


Choice

by JWade



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-15 06:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8045065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JWade/pseuds/JWade
Summary: Gabriel dives into the cage to retrieve Sam, and his soul, as soon as he starts to fall, but is trapped in the process. When the brothers track down death for help, he gives Sam a choice. Gabriel or Adam.





	1. Chapter 1

Gabriel cursed his father’s timing as he arrived in Stull Cemetary as soon as he was resurrected just in time to see Sam topple over the edge. He didn’t even hesitate before diving in after him. He chucked Sam’s body out on his way down, but Lucifer had ahold of his soul so he headed into a steep dive and after what seemed like forever, he managed to free Sam’s soul and throw it out after his body just as the cage closed behind them. 

Sam fell to his knees, completely disoriented, just in time to see Cas resurrect Bobby. He could only guess how Cas came back. “Sam!” Dean exclaimed running up to him and grabbing him in a crushing hug. Once his mind caught up though he pulled back and said, “You are Sam right?” 

Sam laughed. “Yeah. It’s all me. Don’t ask me how.”

“Well, God apparently brought Cas back. Maybe he brought you back too,” Dean suggested not having any better explanation. 

“Yeah. I guess so,” Sam said with a shrug. 

“Now we just need to figure out how to get Adam out of there,” Dean pointed out. 

They spent most of the next year and a half researching the cage in between cases before they got a break. They found a reference to Death being able to traverse any dimension. Dean wanted to be the one put under so he could get a chance to talk to Death, but Sam refused to let him. He felt responsible for Adam being in there in the first place, not to mention he felt like he was living on borrowed time anyway. God apparently wanted him alive for some reason so he was far more sure the he would be able to come back than he was that Dean could. Sam won the argument…barely…and went to see the hack of a doctor. 

As soon as the reaper appeared to him, he demanded to see her boss. She, of course, became very irritated and started on a rant about Winchesters before she was interrupted by the very being Sam was looking for. “You wanted to speak with me?” Death drawled tapping his fingers on the head of his cane. 

“Yes…um…sir. You see. Our brother…Adam. He’s trapped in the cage with Lucifer…and we were hoping…you might be willing to help us get him back?” Sam stammered, ignoring the reaper’s scoff. 

Death raised an eyebrow at the bold hunter. He knew that the boy’s soul wasn’t in the cage, but another was. One that Death considered a friend. Perhaps some sort of deal could be struck here. He was prohibited from telling anyone what souls were in heaven or hell, the cage being a grey area so he would have to walk a fine line. He could only interfere if asked directly. “It is only your brother you wish to save? What of the third archangel? The one that sacrificed himself for you. You care not for his fate?” 

“Wait what? Third archangel? But…Gabriel is dead and why would Raphael care?” Sam asked confused. 

“Gabriel was resurrected, just in time to throw himself into the cage to rescue you,” Death said pointedly. 

“But…why? Why would he do that?” Sam asked voice getting a little higher. 

“You are not truly so blind?” Death asked incredulously. “Humans may not be able to sense their soulmates on the same level as other beings, but I know they can sense it still.”

“He’s…we’re…soulmates? And he…sacrificed himself for me? Again?” Sam was trying to wrap his head around it. 

“Our time is not unlimited Sam Winchester. You must make a choice. I can retrieve one or the other. Choose wisely,” Death told him. Telling the hunter that his brother wasn’t in the cage would be as good as telling him that he was back in heaven, so that was out of the question. If he chose the brother, then Death would be unable to help. 

Sam was torn. On one hand, leaving Adam in the cage would be a betrayal, but he had made his choice. He had refused to listen to them and treated them like criminals. Gabriel, though. Gabriel had sacrificed his life for them back at that hotel and then no sooner than he was alive again, jumped into hell to save him again. How could Sam ever repay that? Leaving him there would be a betrayal as well. Plus, there was the fact that his family fighting was pretty much Gabriel’s worst nightmare and now he was trapped with that forever, not to mention what they would do to him. Then again, Gabriel was more resilient than Adam who was just an innocent kid. 

“I need an answer,” Death prompted. 

“Gabriel,” Sam said with a wince. He didn’t think he would ever forgive himself no matter what choice he made, and the truth of the matter was that he owed Gabriel far more than he owed Adam. 

“Very well. In return for this favor, you will take over my job for the day it will take me to retrieve him,” Death said firmly. “Are we agreed?” 

“Yes. Okay,” Sam said not feeling like he had a leg to stand on should he refuse. No sooner than he spoke the small diner faded around him and he was gasping awake on the doctor’s table to find Dean fretting over him. 

“Are you okay? What happened? Did you talk to him? Will he help?” 

“Relax, Dean. I talked to him, but things didn’t exactly go according to plan. It turns out…”

Sam was interrupted by the arrival of Death, in the flesh. “You will need this. A reaper will accompany you on the rounds while I visit the cage.”

“What, now?” Sam asked nervously. He had no idea what he was doing. 

“Yes. I assumed you would want this done as soon as possible,” Death said with a raised eyebrow. 

“What is going on?” Dean asked irritated. 

Death turned to him and answered the question before Sam could. “I can hardly leave my job undone while I am gone, so your brother is to cover for me in my absence,” he told the hunter before turning back to Sam. “Go on. Put it on.” Sam did so and disappeared from the spot followed by Death. Dean gave a frustrated yell as he stormed out the door, leaving the gob-smacked doctor behind. When they said they wanted to talk to Death he had assumed they were either crazy or speaking metaphorically. 

 

Sam found himself standing on the street next to the reaper Tessa. “Let’s get one thing straight. I don’t like you. I don’t like how you and your whole family play fast and loose with the rules, and I think Death is a fool for trusting you with something like this, but it’s my head that will roll if you screw it up, so don’t.” She stormed off and Sam was struggling to keep up as they went inside the convenience store that they were standing in front of just in time to see the robber get shot.

Sam only hesitated a moment before reaching out and touching the man whose ghost suddenly appeared next to him. When he started asking questions, Sam looked to Tessa for help only for her to raise an eyebrow and smirk so he figured he was on his own, so fobbed him off with the best answer he could think of off the top of his head. Once the man was gone, he turned to Tessa and said, “This isn’t so bad.” 

“Just wait,” she told him with an unreadable expression as they disappeared again and found themselves in a hospital room with a little girl lying in the bed. 

“No. I…I can’t…please…” Sam said eyes wide and backing away. He couldn’t kill a little girl. 

“You have to. It’s her time,” Tessa said, softening a bit. She could see what he was thinking so she added. “You’re not killing her. Her illness is. You’re just helping her move on.”

“And if I don’t?” Sam asked. 

“Then the fabric starts to unwind and we will have chaos. There is no telling what the consequences may be. Letting her live may kill a hundred other children who aren’t supposed to go yet,” she told him placing a hand on his shoulder. “Go on,” she urged gently. 

Sam swallowed around the lump in his throat, whispering, “I’m sorry,” before he reached out his hand to touch her arm. When her ghost started asking questions, he gave her the most comforting answers he could as a single tear leaked from his eyes. The rest of the day went much like that. He wasn’t sure if it was some sort of mercy from fate or if it was Tessa’s doing, but the hard ones were always followed by a few easy ones. Elderly people, criminals, drug addicts, and so on. Still, by the time he was done with this he didn’t think he would sleep well for a year. He didn’t even want to consider the nightmares he was in for. 

He wasn’t sure how long it had been before Death was standing next to them again. “I am surprised that you lasted. And that the world is still spinning,” he said bluntly. 

“It’s not something I ever want to do again,” Sam admitted. 

“So now you see why I cannot simply be at your beck and call,” Death said pointedly. 

“Yeah. I know. But thank you,” Sam said gratefully handing back his ring. 

“You will be returned to your hotel room and your archangel will be waiting for you there. I warn you though, he is not in very good shape after two centuries in the cage. He is your responsibility.” 

Death didn’t even give Sam a chance to respond to that before he was stumbling on his feet as he landed in the hotel room and Gabriel appeared right after him, cowering in the corner. “What the hell?!” Dean exclaimed.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam hesitated for a moment whether to try and get Gabriel or Dean calmed down first and decided that it might be better to get Dean calmed down first before he agitated Gabriel any more and maybe once he got his bearings, Gabriel might be handled easier so he turned to Dean. “Yeah, that’s what I was trying to tell you when Death came to get me. Turns out it wasn’t God that saved me from the pit. It was Gabriel. He…well…he basically took my place.”

“And Adam?” Dean asked. 

“I had to choose…”

“Damn it Sam! So you just left our brother down there! In hell! With Lucifer!” Dean yelled and Gabriel covered his ears and started rocking back and forth in the corner. 

Sam grabbed Dean’s arm and hauled him outside before he upset Gabriel any more than he already had. “Look, I get it, but I was in a lose lose situation. No matter what choice I made I would never have been able to live with myself, but Gabriel…he sacrificed himself for us back at that hotel and that was bad enough, but the second he gets resurrected, he does so again, throwing himself in not only literal hell, but his own personal hell too, having to watch his family fight for all eternity, and you know they wouldn’t have gone easy on him for helping us in the first place. I would have gotten them both if I could, but I couldn’t, and I don’t regret my choice.” No way was Sam going tell him about the whole soulmate thing. Not yet. At least not until he got it figured out himself. 

“Yeah. I get it. We owe Gabriel. You especially. But to sacrifice your own brother for him? That’s just wrong,” Dean said angrily. 

“You think I don’t know that, Dean? Huh? But it would have been just as wrong to sacrifice him for someone who turned their backs on us and tried to help end the world,” Sam said refusing to let Dean make him feel bad about this. “Now I’m gonna go in there and try and help Gabriel who’s just spent two centuries in the damn cage and I swear to god if you come in there all pissed and set him off again, I won’t be responsible for my actions,” Sam said as he turned and walked back in, taking a deep breath to calm down before he went over to Gabriel. 

Sam ignored the squeal of the impala’s tires leaving the parking lot as he walked over to Gabriel and crouched in front of him, putting a hand on the terrified archangel’s arm in a comforting gesture. Gabriel obviously didn’t take it that way though because he curled into a tighter ball and started whimpering. “Please…no more…I’m sorry…please…don’t…”

Sam pulled his hand away and backed off. Gabriel’s mind was obviously still in the cage. “Hey, Gabriel. It’s me. It’s Sam. Everything is okay. You’re out now.” 

“No…uh-uh…not falling for that again...can’t…you’re not real…go away…please…it hurts…I can’t…” 

Sam felt an icy claw clutching his chest at the idea that he had been used to torture Gabriel. That Gabriel had dreamed of Sam rescuing him and they had used that against him. Part of him wanted nothing more than to grab the traumatized archangel and shake him out of it and not let go until he saw that Sam was real. He knew that would just make things worse though. It might even send Gabriel so far into his shell that he may never emerge. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I’m so sorry they used me like that, but I’m real now. I’m really here,” he said softly. 

Gabriel gave a harsh laugh. “Might want to get some new material,” he said brokenly. 

Sam supposed that it was only logical that whatever illusions they made had worked very hard to convince Gabriel they were real. Obviously he was never going to be able to convince him with words. Sam thought for a minute about how he could possibly convince Gabriel that it was real and the only thing he could come up with was to stop trying to convince him. “Okay. That’s okay. I know this is all a shock for you so I’ll just be here while you get your bearings. Let me know if you need anything,” Sam said as he got up and turned the tv on, lounging on his bed. 

Gabriel didn’t move from the corner, though he did glance up curiously at Sam for just a second before looking back down. Apparently they did get some new material. He wondered how long it would take them to realize that he wasn’t playing their little game. After the first few times he had played along, hoping it would end the illusion, but they could tell that he didn’t really believe it and they waited until he did before they ripped it all away. He couldn’t do it again. It was just too much. He wished they would go back to the physical torture again rather than this. He could handle the pain. At least then he knew what was real. Well until they started torturing him wearing Sam’s face. That was the worst. Maybe even worse than this. He couldn’t even tell anymore. 

He had no idea how long he’d been here. He wasn’t even trying to mark time. That would just make it obvious that time was passing and he knew he was here forever. No matter what tricks they tried to play, he knew there was no way out. There was no rescue coming, and certainly not from Sam. Sam hated him, at best he barely tolerated him. He hadn’t said a word about Gabriel sacrificing himself when he faced Lucifer for him, and that alone spoke volumes. He didn’t regret it though. He wouldn’t regret it. He wouldn’t even regret this. It was the only thing that kept him going. Knowing that every torture they heaped on him, Sam was spared from. That one small spark of…well not happiness so much as contentment…that was what kept him sane. That was what his brothers were intent on breaking. 

About half an hour later Dean came walking back in, slamming the door behind him causing Gabriel to wince and Sam to glare. “Sorry,” Dean said, obviously not sorry at all, as he put the food on the table. He grabbed one of the cups from the drink holder and walked over to Gabriel handing it to him. “Got you a milkshake,” he said shortly, but the archangel just ignored him so Dean slammed it down on the dresser and said, “Fine. See if I try and do anything nice again.”

“Dean! Enough,” Sam said in a harsh whisper. “He doesn’t think we’re real. Apparently this was one of the ways they tortured him. Making him think we rescued him and then yanking him back. Let me.” Dean nodded softening almost imperceptibly towards the archangel. Sam crouched in front of him with the milkshake. “Hey, I get that you don’t think any of this is real, and that’s okay. You can keep believing that if you want, but even if this were a trick, you can at least get a milkshake out of the deal right?” he coaxed softly. 

Gabriel finally looked up and narrowed his eyes at Sam and then at the drink the hunter was holding out, before his hand darted out and grabbed it, quick as lightning as though that too would be snatched away. Sam gave him a soft smile and backed away again before going over to the table to eat with Dean. “Can you please just try to be easy with him?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“Look, I feel for the guy. You know I do. After everything he did for us, how could I not, but every time I see him and think about what he’s been through, I think about Adam and what he’s still going through because you decided to bring Gabriel back instead. I can’t get that out of my head, Sam.”

“I know. Believe me, I’m the same way, but don’t take it out on him. It’s not his fault. You’re mad at me, take it out on me,” Sam told him. 

“Fine. But I’m not gonna start coddling him either,” Dean said annoyed. 

“I don’t think that would help convince him we were real if you did anyway,” Sam said with a chuckle.


	3. Chapter 3

When Gabriel heard Sam tell Dean that if he was too nice then he would never believe they were real, he almost snarled at them. That was the biggest reason he always had so much trouble believing it to begin with. Sam was never nice to him and that comment just proved that Lucifer knew that. Not that Gabriel had doubted that he knew that. He had been Sam. He knew every thought the hunter ever had, but now he was just throwing it in his face. He resolved to keep ignoring the figments until his brother tired of this game. He resolved to wait it out. Of course he always resolved to wait it out and he always ended up getting sucked in. Once Lucifer had even let him go a whole month after he started to believe before he pulled him out. Or should he say before Sam put him on a rack and started tearing him apart, shattering the illusion. That one had almost broken him. 

He could see that his brothers were putting a little more thought into it now, probably Michael’s idea. To add authenticity. Dean wasn’t usually a player in these games. He wondered, not for the first time, whether everything was illusions or whether Lucifer and now Michael were playing the parts of Sam and Dean. It could go either way really. He knew that when Sam was torturing him it was Lucifer at least. He knew his brother’s handiwork when he saw it…or felt it. Not to mention no illusion could wield an archangel blade. He wasn’t sure if the answer would matter, but he still wanted to know. It was his own innate curiosity. He would say the not knowing was torture, but he knew real torture now, and it wasn’t even in the ballpark. It was more like an annoying itch that he couldn’t scratch. He could admit the milkshake had been a nice touch though. He had nearly forgotten what they tasted like. It would be just like Lucifer to give him that reminder before it was taken away again. 

After they ate, Dean sat back on his bed and watched television while Sam got on his computer and Gabriel continued ignoring them, not moving out of the corner. He was still hugging his knees to his chest as he tried to tune out everything going on around him. It was safest that way. The less he interacted the more quickly his brothers would get bored. Unfortunately, he was never able to tune out Sam completely. Even the imitation of Sam held a kind of power over him. That didn’t mean he had to show it though. That was the important part. A few hours later, he heard Sam talking to him. “Hey, Gabriel. We’re gonna go to bed now. If you need anything just wake me up, okay?” He didn’t dignify the figment with a response. 

“Are you sure we should sleep with him here?” Dean asked in a stage whisper. 

“What do you mean?” Sam asked in the same tone. 

“Well if he thinks we’re not real, or worse, Lucifer and Michael or whatever, what’s to stop him from trying to kill us in our sleep?” Dean asked worriedly. 

“He won’t,” Sam said confidently. 

“How do you know?” Dean asked. 

“Well if he thinks we are Lucifer and Michael then he would know that it would do no good and probably make things worse for him. If he thinks we’re just illusions, then he won’t see a point. Either way we’re safe,” Sam told him. 

“I wish I were so sure,” Dean said nervously. 

“Hey, feel free to stay up and watch him if it makes you feel better, but I trust him and I’m tired so I’m going to sleep,” Sam said with a note of finality as he climbed into bed. 

When he heard Sam say that he trusted him, he couldn’t help the warm feeling that erupted in him, even as he was cursing himself for it. Gabriel could feel Dean’s eyes on him for a while before he gave in and went to sleep as well and Gabriel was left alone in the dark, with only the sounds of snoring hunters to break the silence. In a way it was almost comforting. It was familiar at least. It was some part of reality he could hold on to. As the sun came up and started to lighten the room, Gabriel didn’t even realize that he had been watching Sam until the hunter creaked open his eyes and greeted the archangel with a smile and Gabriel quickly shifted his gaze back to the floor as the reality of the situation hit him anew. Sam would never greet him with a smile upon waking up. A holy oil Molotov maybe, but not a smile. 

“Have you been sitting like that all night?” Sam asked concerned. “I mean, I don’t know if archangels can get stiff, but you must be at least a little uncomfortable by now.” Gabriel steadfastly ignored him and Sam couldn’t help but crouch down in front of him as he put a hand on Gabriel’s knee. 

“Stop it…” Gabriel snapped trying to shift away from the touch. “Don’t touch me…you’re not real…just…don’t touch me…” 

Sam, once again, jumped back. “I’m sorry Gabriel. I am so so sorry you’re dealing with this,” he said earnestly. The archangel was nearly in tears by the time Sam had backed up. It may come to a point where he would have no choice but to prove that he was real in any way possible, but for now he would give Gabriel his space. He stood back up and saw Dean sitting on the edge of his bed watching the interaction. “I’m gonna go take a shower,” he said wanting to get behind closed doors before his own tears escaped. 

“I’ll go grab breakfast then,” Dean offered. 

“Get something sweet for Gabriel?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“Fine,” Dean sighed, but didn’t argue. 

When Sam came out of the bathroom about fifteen minutes later, all he was wearing was a pair of sweatpants and he was still towel-drying his hair as he walked over to his bag to rummage for a t-shirt and Gabriel couldn’t take his eyes off him. Sam noticed, but resisted the urge to smirk, figuring that might put Gabriel too much in mind of Lucifer so he just pretended not to notice. He was just trying to get Gabriel to interact somehow, in whatever way he could. He’d considered coming out in nothing but a towel, but figured that might be a bit much. Knowing that Gabriel was his soulmate, and what’s more, that Gabriel knew that, combined with everything that Gabriel had done for him, gave him a clue that something like this might affect him, and it seemed he was right. 

Sam turned toward the archangel as he pulled his shirt over his head and asked, “Are you going to eat with us at the table today or stay there in your corner?” By the time his shirt was in place, Gabriel’s gaze was fixed at the floor again. “Guess that answers that question.” 

Dean got back holding a few bags of food. “I got him chocolate chip pancakes. I hope that’s sweet enough for his highness,” Dean snarked, but without any heat as he handed them over to Sam. Sam had hoped for a modicum of interest from the archangel, but Gabriel just snatched the food from his hand so Sam sighed and went back to get utensils for him, but by the time he got back with them, Gabriel had already eaten half the pancakes and his hands were all sticky with syrup. Sam rolled his eyes and tossed him the silverware before going to wet a washcloth and handing that to him too. He wasn’t sure if Gabriel’s powers weren’t working or if he just wasn’t using them, but he had seen no sign of them yet, so he wanted to make sure he could clean himself up. 

After breakfast, Dean asked, “So are we really just going to sit here in this room for however long it takes him to snap out of it?” 

“Yeah. I am. You can feel free to go out and do whatever, but I’m gonna stick around,” Sam told him. 

While Dean was glad that he wouldn’t be expected to be cooped up in this small motel room, that wasn’t entirely what he meant. “I mean what about our jobs. Are we just taking a break from hunting or what?” 

“Well I think we kinda have to, don’t we? We can’t exactly lug him around like this,” Sam pointed out. 

“Who says we have to stick with him at all. He’s a big boy. We can just leave him here and let him snap out of it on his own,” Dean suggested knowing that it would be shot down anyway. 

“No way. Not gonna happen. I’m not leaving him alone like this. He’s like this because of me. I owe it to him to help him through this, and besides, Death said that he was my responsibility now.”

Dean sighed heavily. “Okay fine. I’m going out. Just call me if you need me to bring anything back. I’ll go see what there is to do in this town.”


	4. Chapter 4

Once they were alone, Sam went and sat down on the floor in front of Gabriel, keeping back enough that the archangel didn’t feel crowded. “I don’t like just ignoring you, so I’m just gonna talk if that’s okay. You don’t have to talk back if you don’t want to.” When he got no response from Gabriel, not even a glance, he just started talking. “I didn’t know you were the one that saved me from the cage. Not until Death told me. It’s been just over a year and a half for us, but I know it’s been so much longer for you. It’s been pretty cut and dry for the most part. Plenty of hunting. Nothing new. There was a bit of a concern for a while there about civil war in heaven. Cas was in it pretty deep because Raphael was intent on reopening the cage and getting the apocalypse back on track and Cas mobilized an army to stop him. I’m not sure what happened, but they worked it out. Apparently Raphael realized that the cage couldn’t be opened again so decided to make peace so that more of his brothers wouldn’t get hurt in a long drawn out war. Cas isn’t too happy with the leadership, but he’s getting used to it. Apparently Raphael is a bit more heavy handed than Michael was and combined with the fact that they know now that God is gone, things are tense, but under control,” Sam tried to update him on what was going on. He knew that making out like everything was perfect would just make him more sure it was a trick, but he didn’t want to worry him, so he was walking a fine line. He wasn’t going to lie, but he could put a positive spin on things. 

“We hadn’t realized how comfortable we’d gotten having an angel around to fix things until Cas was gone. We had more than a few close calls. Nearly died a couple times, but we managed. Just like the old days. In between hunts we were doing our own research. We knew the cage couldn’t be opened again, but we hoped we could find a way to rescue a soul from it. We wanted to get Adam out, but we didn’t know you were there. We didn’t know that you were the one to rescue me from the cage. I can never repay you for that, by the way. Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough to cover it. We found out that Death could get in and out of the cage so I went to this stupid hack doctor who basically killed me so I could talk to the guy,” Sam laughed at how ridiculous it sounded. “He gave me a choice. You or Adam. As much as it killed me to abandon my brother to that fate, I owed you more than I owed him. I’ll never forgive myself for it, but that would be the case no matter what choice I’d made.”

Gabriel felt the need to speak here. If it was a trick, he wouldn’t be giving any ground, but on the off chance it wasn’t, he felt the need to lighten the load on Sam’s shoulders. “You know full well that Adam isn’t here. Not since Cassie molotoved him.”

“Wait what? Really? Adam wasn’t in the cage? At all?” Sam asked in shock, but Gabriel was back to not responding. Sam just grinned. Both because his brother’s soul was safe and because he’d gotten a reaction, however small, from Gabriel. “That’s really a load off my mind. Thank you Gabriel. So apparently making me choose was a test and I guess I chose correctly because you’re here. Death made me do his job for a day in return though, and let me tell you, it was the most miserable day of my life. I definitely won’t be asking for his help again. With anything. Of course, that’s probably why he did it in the first place,” Sam said with a chuckle. “I just…I’m glad you’re back Gabriel. And I don’t care how long it takes, we are going to fix you. If you know anything about me, you know that I don’t give up.”

Gabriel couldn’t take any more. Having Sam just sitting there, talking to him, telling him everything he wanted to hear was just too much. “Just stop it okay! I know you never liked me. You never cared. This is just all some cruel trick and I’m done with it. If you want to convince me of this farce, you’ll never do it by making Sam actually be nice to me.”

Sam recoiled like he’d been slapped. He knew that he and Gabriel had never had a particularly warm relationship, but he hadn’t realized that Gabriel felt that way. “Look, Gabriel. It’s complicated. It always was with you. When we first met and you were a janitor, I had a thing for you. I don’t think that was much of a secret. Dean ribbed me about it for days actually, but then when I found out that you were the thing we were hunting, I felt betrayed. I never hated you for that. I hated myself. Then the next time we met you were killing my brother over and over. You made me live six months without him, and yes. Then I hated you. I didn’t understand why you would do that. You tried to tell me but I just didn’t listen. Once Lucifer was released I realized what you had been trying to do with all that, and I understood. When we realized that it was you before the whole tv land thing, all I wanted to do was talk to you. To get your help, yes, but also to tell you that I understood. That I didn’t hate you, but then you ended up being an archangel and I didn’t know how to deal with that, so I let it be. I was so happy to see you show up at that hotel, and not just because you were there to save us. But because maybe I could actually get a chance to talk to you for once…”

“You just let me walk out there and sacrifice myself without even a token protest,” Gabriel pointed out. 

“Because I didn’t realize that was what you were doing. I didn’t realize that you expected to die and I had faith that you could stop Lucifer or at least get yourself out. You were the trickster after all. I would never have let you die for me. I would never have been okay with that, Gabriel. Afterwards, the only thing that kept me going was the fact that you left us a job to do. Maybe that’s why I was so willing to carry out my suicidal plan to trap Lucifer back in the cage. I never dreamed that you would come back, and I definitely never dreamed that you would end up paying for it. I’m so sorry, Gabriel.”

Gabriel finally looked up at Sam for the first time since this conversation started and narrowed his eyes. He hated the part of him that wanted to believe. He knew that it would only end badly. “You’re just saying what I want to hear. Whatever you have to, to make me believe. You act like we haven’t been through this a hundred times already.”

“No, Gabriel. I’m telling you the truth. I’m pouring my heart out here. If you’re not ready to believe, that’s okay. I’m not going to push the matter, but these things still need to be said. I am real. This is real. All of it. And I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to accept that. I’m not giving up on you.”

“Why?” Gabriel asked. “Why would you care so much if not for some trick?” 

“Because I owe you. More than I could ever hope to repay. And because…well…because I care,” Sam told him. He was going to leave out all mentions of soulmates and any hopes he had for them beyond friendship until Gabriel was a little more with them. He wasn’t sure if Lucifer’s tricks had gone so far, but either way, Gabriel was vulnerable right now and he wasn’t going to take advantage of that. “Look, I understand you suspending your belief, but I would really like it if you could at least come out of that corner. Sit on the bed or in a chair. If you want me to keep my distance I will, but I can’t stand seeing you over here looking so vulnerable. Please.”

Gabriel sighed in defeat. He couldn’t resist that pleading tone in Sam’s voice and the part of him that wanted to believe was getting stronger. He couldn’t give in to that part of him, but he could at least get up and sit somewhere else. At least for a while, and if the beaming smile on Sam’s face when he did made him happy…well…no one needed to know that.


	5. Chapter 5

As Gabriel was getting up and moving to a chair, Sam pulled out his phone to text Dean. ‘Adam not in cage. Gabriel confirmed.’

Sure enough not five seconds later, his phone rang. “What do you mean he’s not in the cage? How is he not in the cage?” 

“Well you remember when Raphael blew Cas up and it sent Jimmy’s soul to heaven?” Sam asked and after getting an affirmative response he continued. “Well apparently when Cas blew Michael up it had the same effect. Adam is back in heaven. He was never in the cage.”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. He almost said something about wasting the last year and half, but bit his tongue. He knew that Sam would take offense to that given the archangel currently in their motel room and he had to admit, now that he knew it didn’t come at the cost of their brother, that he was glad they got Gabriel out too. “So why did Death give you a choice then? Why not just say so?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he couldn’t. Or maybe I needed to ask for Gabriel specifically. Or maybe he just wanted to see me squirm. Who knows,” Sam said with a shrug. 

“So you got the pixie talking?” Dean asked, hoping that meant they could finally move on. 

“Not really. Just one comment and he’s no closer to believing this is all real. But I did get him off the floor at least, so baby steps,” Sam told him. 

“Yeah okay. I’ll just be glad when we can get back on the road.”

“I know,” Sam said as they hung up. Sam sighed and turned to Gabriel. “I don’t know how to tell him I don’t want to hunt anymore. It was never supposed to be a lifetime thing for me. I want out. I never wanted in in the first place really. I was in college you know. On my way to law school when Dean showed up asking for my help. I left with him for a few days and came home to my girlfriend burning on the ceiling. After that it became about killing the demon that killed her and my mom. Then getting Dean out of his deal. Then killing Lilith. Then stopping the apolcalypse. Then rescuing Adam which turned into rescuing you. There’s nothing left to do now. I’m tired of this life. I just don’t know where to go from here. I mean as far as the world is concerned, I’m a dead serial killer. I can’t exactly go back to law school or do anything with my real name and getting identities good enough to be on the road is one thing, but good enough to rent an apartment and get a job and have a real life? That takes money and resources that I don’t have.”

Gabriel, while having moved to a chair, was still sitting in the same position, hugging his knees to his chest and he just hugged them tighter at that speech. This was so typical. Give him a problem to solve. A way to help in order to suck him in. Lucifer and Michael always banked on the fact that he couldn’t resist helping Sam. And they were usually right. But not this time. Sam’s life wasn’t in any danger this time. He could just ignore it, and ignore it he did. 

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re a great listener,” Sam joked. “Dean’s never really much for conversation. He gets all pissy when I try to talk to him. At least you let me talk. Even if you’re not paying attention.” He had no idea whether the archangel heard a word he was saying, but at least he felt like he was talking to someone rather than just talking to himself. He wasn’t sure what else to really say though so he just shrugged and pulled his computer over to him. “You’re welcome to watch tv or read a book or something. I don’t have too many books with me, but I can always run to the library and get something for you.” He didn’t expect a response and didn’t get one, as Gabriel continued just staring blankly at the floor. “Okay. Well if you change your mind just let me know.”

Sam figured Dean wouldn’t be coming back for lunch. He was probably just killing time in town until the bars opened and wouldn’t be back until late, so Sam just ordered pizza. He got two just in case Dean did come back or if Gabriel decided he wanted some. He wanted to get some dessert for the archangel too though. “Hey Gabe, you want brownies or cinnamon sticks?” he asked, hoping to get at least some input, but nothing. “Okay let’s just get both,” he told the guy on the phone. 

When the food got there, Sam first opened one of the pizza’s and held a slice out to Gabriel. “You want a piece?” he asked, but Gabriel was just staring at the two smaller boxes, like he wasn’t sure if he’d really be allowed. Sam gave a sad smile as he reached for them and handed them out for Gabriel to take. The archangel took them more slowly this time, watching Sam as he did, almost believing that they wouldn’t be snatched back away from him. 

Gabriel ate slowly as he watched Sam and tried to puzzle things out. Why would they let him keep eating like this? It wasn’t exactly like he needed food. Could it really be just to take it away from him again? They had to know that it wouldn’t hurt so much. Nothing like losing the illusion of freedom. Like losing Sam again. In all the hundreds of times that they had done this, he’d never gotten to eat. Especially not like this. What could be the point? Could this really be real? What if that was the point though? To give him something new so he would believe it. He didn’t think they were that inventive though. They wouldn’t think of food. Of sweets even. “Why don’t you want to be a hunter?” Gabriel asked curiously, giving in just a little bit. Willing to entertain the idea that this might be real at least. 

Sam did a double take at the words and couldn’t help that smile that blossomed on his fact at the interaction. “Always on the road, scamming money and credit cards so we can eat and have a place to stay, never being in once place, no friends, no stability. I don’t like it. I want a home,” Sam told him. 

That was one thing Gabriel could definitely relate to. Wanting a home. That was all he’d ever wanted. Well before he ended up in hell anyway. Now all he wanted was to get out. “And you really think you can sit there and watch the news, knowing that there are monsters out there killing people and just ignore it?” he asked. 

“You don’t think I should quit hunting?” Sam asked interestedly. He would have thought that Gabriel would be all for it. 

“I think you should do whatever makes you happy. I just don’t think you’ve thought this through and I don’t think you’d be able to last,” Gabriel said honestly. 

“I did it in college,” Sam pointed out. 

“Yeah but you were barely more than a kid then. You didn’t know what it was like to be in. You didn’t realize the difference you could make,” Gabriel countered. 

“That’s true, but I still think I could do it. Not that I’d get a chance anyway,” Sam added sadly. 

“If all this were real, I could help,” Gabriel said with a shrug. 

“You would do that?” Sam asked hopefully. Gabriel shrugged again. He would entertain the idea as far as a conversation, but actually investing himself in this false world wasn’t something he was willing to do. Sam recognized that and let it drop, but didn’t want to let the conversation go. He also didn’t want to talk about any painful things with the archangel being so fragile right now, so he wracked his brain for a topic that wouldn’t bring up bad memories. Heaven and angels were out. Anything regarding them had too much tied up in heaven and angels and the apocalypse. He considered asking about Gabriel’s pagan past for a moment before he remembered that they had turned on him too and he suddenly felt a sharp pang of pity for the archangel. He had no one and nothing. He had sacrificed everything for someone that he thought hated him. Sam felt his eyes filling with tears and looked away, swallowing around the lump in his throat. 

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at the hunter. Crying? That was another new one. “Sam? What’s wrong?” he asked feeling himself soften a little more to the situation. It seemed like the more comfortable he started to get, the more he let himself interact with this world, the more his own fear tightened around him. 

“Nothing. I’m okay,” Sam said wiping the traitorous tears away before he realized that Gabriel was actually talking to him. He was making an effort and shutting him out might just make things worse. “It’s just…you’ve done so much for me, sacrificed so much, and the only thing I can do for you is help you through this and I feel like I’m failing. Like I’m not good enough to even do this little thing, and I’m sorry.”


	6. Chapter 6

Gabriel’s breath caught as he just fell deeper into this illusion. He couldn’t help but reach out a hand to Sam’s arm, and the hunter’s head snapped up to look at him wide-eyed at that touch. “I just…I can’t Sam. Hundreds of times…so many I lost count…we’ve done this. You’ve rescued me, talked me into believing it, put me back together, and then I’m right back there with Michael and Lucifer laughing and taunting me. And I believe it every time…because I want to believe it…I want so badly for all this to be real…but I can’t. All the torture, all the pain, all the times they’ve had me on the rack…I’m never as close to breaking as when this ends, and I can’t do it again. I just can’t,” he said with tears in his own eyes. 

Sam knew that protesting that it really was real this time wouldn’t do any good and might even do harm. He could see where Gabriel was coming from and cursed Michael and Lucifer, for the thousandth time for putting Gabriel through any of this. “They’re assholes. I hate them for doing this to you. I wish I could just take it all away, and I know it’s going to take time. I just don’t know what to do and I hate not knowing what to do. I hate not being able to help. Especially not being able to help YOU.”

“It’s not your fault…”

“Yes, it is,” Sam interrupted. “All of this is my fault. I let Lucifer out. I started all this.”

“I should have found a way to stop it,” Gabriel said. 

“You tried,” Sam pointed out. “You tried and we didn’t listen.”

“I could have tried harder. Found another way. I gave up,” Gabriel admitted. 

“Jesus, Gabriel. You lost everything! You burned any last bridges you might have with heaven. You lost the pagans. You gave up your life, your freedom, everything…for me! Don’t ever feel like you didn’t do enough.” Sam said earnestly placing his hand over Gabriel’s where it rested on his arm. Gabriel didn’t say anything to that and Sam suddenly realized that he had just thrown everything he lost in the archangel’s face. Maybe talking wasn’t the best. “How about you just come watch television with me,” Sam suggested. That was something nice and non-committal, requiring little interaction. 

Gabriel shrugged and walked over to the bed and sat gingerly next to Sam as the hunter browsed for something to watch. He knew better by now than to ask Gabriel for his opinion, but wanted to choose something Gabriel would like. Just his luck he found a channel running an Adam Sandler marathon. That seemed right up Gabriel’s alley. He set the remote down and, trying to make it seem like an everyday thing, reached over and held Gabriel’s hand. “What are you doing?” the archangel asked. 

“I just figured it might help,” Sam said with a shrug, ignoring the way his heart was beating out of his chest. “An anchor, so to speak. If you’d rather not though…”

“No. It’s okay,” Gabriel said quickly, hand tightening around Sam’s before the hunter threaded their fingers together. Gabriel watched Sam as much as he watched the television while he tried to wrap his head around all this. Sam had always been kind and earnest, but also distant in many ways. He’d never talked to him so much, or touched him beyond a pat on the back or the shoulder. He’d never shown so much vulnerability as he had today, never given him food, never taken such pains to make sure he was comfortable, never tried so hard to reassure him, and especially never said that nothing was his fault. As far as Michael and Lucifer were concerned everything was his fault. He couldn’t imagine them having Sam say otherwise. 

They had watched the last half of Billy Madison, All of The Waterboy, and most of Happy Gilmore before Gabriel could feel the tears start to fall. Sam, who had been very aware of Gabriel’s attentions and hoped that meant he was working through things, immediately turned his attention to the archangel. “Gabriel? You okay?” 

“It’s…this is…real?” Gabriel choked out. 

Sam instinctively pulled Gabriel into an embrace. “Yeah, Gabe. This is all real,” he whispered as the dam broke and the archangel clung to him as he sobbed. “You’re safe now. I got you. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Mixed with the relief Gabriel was feeling was a heart clenching fear. If he went back now. If this one turned out to be a trick too, he didn’t know if he would make. It would break him. He just knew it. “I can’t go back,” he managed to get out around his sobs. “Please, don’t let me go back. Please…please let this be real.”

“It’s all real, Gabe. I swear. You’re never going back there. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. I’ve got you, Gabe,” Sam murmured, leaning his cheek against Gabriel’s head after pressing a kiss to the mop of golden hair. “I’ve got you.” 

“I’m…I’m scared, Sam,” Gabriel admitted. 

“I know,” Sam said softly. “I know, but I’m here now. I’ll take care of everything. I’ll take care of you. Anything you need,” Sam vowed. Gabriel just held him tighter as his tears continued staining the hunter’s shirt and Sam took the hint. That this was what he needed right now. Sam wanted to make sure he was absolutely clear though so he kept talking. “I mean it, Gabe. If you need to talk, if you need a hug, if you need to go out and take a walk around the block, I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night, you wake me up. Got it?” He felt Gabriel nod against his chest and gave a sad smile. “I want to be here for you, Gabriel. I NEED to be here for you. Thank you for letting me,” he whispered as he pressed another kiss to Gabriel’s head. “Thank you.” 

Sam barely noticed when Gabriel’s sobs turned to sniffles, and then he fell asleep. Sam was puzzled for a moment. He knew that angels didn’t sleep, but who knew what kind of shape Gabriel was in. Maybe he did need sleep, or maybe it was just the emotional trauma that had him shutting down. Either way, he was asleep, and there was no way Sam was going to risk waking him for anything. He was glad he had just taken a bathroom break, but wished he had grabbed some dinner first. Oh well. It wouldn’t be the first meal he’d missed and he doubted it would be the last. This was more important. He changed the television to something more to his own tastes and within a few hours had fallen asleep himself. 

It was around two-thirty in the morning when Dean snuck in after closing down a bar. He knew Sam would be sleeping by now, but he couldn’t help but do a double take at the sight that met him. His first thought was thrown out quickly by the fact that they were on top of the blankets, half leaning against the headboard, and fully clothed. He could see the way they were clinging to each other though and the dried tear tracks on Gabriel’s face and the picture spoke for itself. Apparently there had been progress made. That had been part of the reason he had stayed gone all day. He knew that Sam was far better equipped to deal with all this then he was. 

Plus, there was the issue of Sam’s feelings for Gabriel. Dean wasn’t stupid, or as blind as his brother seemed to think he was. He’d had a thing for Gabriel since they’d first met, and when he came out as the trickster, he was off limits due to being a monster, but then he turned out to be an archangel and everything changed. As for Gabriel’s side, his actions pretty much spoke for themselves. He had no doubt that those two would be an item at some point. He knew his brother well enough to know that it wouldn’t be until Gabriel was in a much better mental and emotional state though. 

That had been part of the reason Dean was so pissed when Sam brought Gabriel back instead of Adam. It felt to Dean like he was choosing Gabriel just because he had feelings for him and abandoning their brother. Oh, he heard everything Sam had said on the matter and had to admit…grudgingly…that he’d had a point, but he couldn’t help but wonder how much of a part all those reasons played in Sam’s decision. Nothing would change the fact that Sam had chosen Gabriel over Adam, intending to leave their brother in the cage forever, but knowing that Adam wasn’t really there made it easier to forgive and forget. Dean hit the bathroom before sliding into bed and then he was dead to the world.


	7. Chapter 7

Gabriel’s eyes creaked open and he realized that he was laying on someone else and it took him a second for the memories from the previous day to return and for him to realize that it was Sam. That this was really happening. With that thought came the fear that he was wrong and he wondered if that would ever go away. He was so comfortable and felt so safe wrapped in Sam’s arms, but he knew that Sam would be mortified at the way they were sleeping so he tried to move away only for the hunter’s strong arms to tighten around him. “Gabe? What’s up?” he asked in a whisper, not sure yet if his brother was back and sleeping. 

“I’m sorry,” was all Gabriel could say. “I didn’t mean to…”

What he was going to say was lost though as Sam interrupted him. “Don’t be sorry. Don’t forget what I said yesterday. I’m here. No matter what.” When Gabriel didn’t say anything, Sam let him go, thinking maybe he was uncomfortable with the embrace now that he wasn’t falling apart. “You wanna go for a walk or something? Get out and get some fresh air.”

“It’s…” Gabriel turned to look at the clock. “Four-thirty in the morning,” he pointed out. 

“I saw a twenty-four hour convenience store a few blocks down. We can walk down there, pick up some candy and soda or chocolate milk or whatever you want. You must be going nuts stuck in these four walls for days,” Sam suggested. 

“Better than the cage,” Gabriel muttered. 

Sam ignored the pang of sympathy he felt at that as he said, “Doesn’t mean it’s comfortable.”

“You should get some more sleep, Sam,” Gabriel told him. 

“I’m good. I don’t think I could get back to sleep if I tried. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to though,” Sam told him. 

“No. It’s okay. I just…” Gabriel trailed off but Sam looked at him pointedly waiting patiently for him to finish. Gabriel sighed. “I just don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not a burden, Gabriel. You could never be a burden,” Sam assured him. “Come on,” he got up and held out his hand for Gabriel to take. He pulled the archangel to his feet and they slipped out quietly so as not to wake Dean. As they were walking down the street, Sam still hadn’t let go of Gabriel’s hand, and he had something he wanted to ask the archangel. “So I’m curious. If you don’t feel like answering that’s okay, but…well…I haven’t seen you use your powers at all…” He left the question implied. 

“My grace is…pretty much in shreds at the moment. The little bit I have access to is keeping my vessel sustained,” Gabriel said tentatively. 

“I’m sorry. Does it hurt?”

Gabriel gave a tense chuckle. “Relatively speaking no. Compared to everything else it’s barely more than an itch.”

“What about not compared to anything else,” Sam asked. He got what Gabriel was saying, but he didn’t want the archangel to just brush things off. 

“It hurts, but it’s not too bad. As long as I don’t try to use it anyway. If I try to use it, then it would be like being burned alive,” he told him. 

“Well we’ll just have to make sure you don’t need to use it,” Sam said squeezing his hand comfortingly. “Will it heal?” 

“Yeah, it will. It will just take time,” Gabriel said sadly. Assuming all this was real, he didn’t say. 

“That’s good. If there’s anything I can do to help just say the word,” Sam offered, knowing that it was unlikely he would be able to help. Gabriel nodded gratefully, but they were walking into the store by then and Gabriel didn’t think it would be a good idea to be talking powers in public. Sam pointed him towards the candy aisle and said, “Go ahead and grab anything you want,” as he went over to grab a twelve pack of beer and some chips for himself and Dean. 

Sam was just grabbing a bag of chips when he heard a scuffle in the next aisle and quickly rounded the corner just in time to see someone shove Gabriel towards someone else who grabbed him. They were obviously drunk and looking for a fight. Sam nearly broke the guys arm who was holding onto Gabriel as he ripped him away and tossed him into the display. “Get the hell out of here before I send you out in an ambulance,” he snarled at all three of them who, upon seeing the size of Sam and the muscles he was sporting, scampered away. Sam turned back to Gabriel. “You okay, Gabe?” 

“I’m fine,” Gabriel snapped. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.” 

Sam smiled, despite Gabriel’s tone. “I know that. You could have wiped the floor with all of them without breaking a sweat. I just didn’t want to risk you accidentally using…going too far,” he corrected himself, seeing the attention they had drawn from the attendant. “You’re still recovering, remember,” Sam told him. He could understand Gabriel’s frustration. He was an archangel getting picked on by a few punk humans after all. 

Gabriel gave him a sheepish smile and nodded. He never meant to snap at Sam like that. Not with as kind as the hunter was being. He just wanted to make sure that Sam knew he wasn’t some helpless little damsel in distress. He could take care of himself and Sam coming to his rescue like that hit his pride pretty hard. Sam squeezed his shoulder encouragingly and went back to his own shopping, leaving Gabriel to continue stocking up. When they got to the register, Sam was reminded that he couldn’t buy beer before six am so he put it back and they left with a few bags of chips, a ton of candy and a case of yoo-hoo. He started to pull out his wallet, but was surprised when Gabriel beat him to it and pulled out a platinum card to hand over. He didn’t know why he was surprised. Thinking about it, it should have been obvious that Gabriel had money. He was hardly the type to let himself skimp, and he always planned ahead. There were a lot of reasons that he may not be able to use his powers. 

Gabriel started walking back towards the motel, but Sam grabbed his hand and started pulling him in the other direction. “I noticed a bakery down here and they usually open pretty early. I thought we could get some doughnuts and muffins for breakfast while we’re out.” He knew Gabriel probably wasn’t ready to go back inside just yet and wanted to prolong this outing a little more. Gabriel just shrugged and followed him. They got there to find that they opened at five which was only ten minutes away so they sat down at one of the little outdoor tables to wait. “It’s really peaceful out this early in the morning,” Sam said contentedly. 

“With obvious exceptions,” Gabriel agreed. 

“Obviously,” Sam said with a chuckle. They were greeted with a smile as the store opened and they headed into the counter and ordered a dozen doughnuts, half chocolate half glazed and six blueberry muffins for Sam. Sam grabbed the pastry boxes and headed back to the outdoor table. “Let’s eat out here so we don’t disturb Dean when we get back,” Sam suggested. He could tell being out and about like this was helping Gabriel a lot and didn’t want to go back. Especially since they would have to be quiet so as not to wake Dean. Normally when Sam was up first he just got on his computer, but now that Gabriel was finally talking, Sam didn’t want to shut him up. Well any more than he already was. Gabriel wasn’t exactly back to his normal chatty self, but it was better than the blank shell that he had been before. “Maybe you could tell me about the illusions they put you in? It might be easier for me to avoid triggering something if I knew what to avoid.”

“What to avoid?” Gabriel asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Well yeah. Like, if there was something in particular that I always did or said. Some way I acted. That kind of stuff.”

“You’re already way different than any of the other illusions. That’s why I folded so easily. Last time it took two weeks before I let myself relax into the illusion. Then, of course, they left me there for a whole month, let me get comfortable and even happy before they pulled me out,” Gabriel said in a haunted voice, remembering the way the illusory Sam had called him to some old warehouse and proceeded to put him on a rack and start ripping him open as everything faded back to the cage. 

“God they are such bastards. Hopefully now that you’re gone they’re torturing each other,” Sam said heatedly. “How am I different?” 

“Well the other you was…nice. Friendly, helpful, fun, but not really…emotionally invested. He avoided all the tough stuff. When I got upset he had more of a ‘buck up. It’ll get better’ attitude,” Gabriel explained. He’d never even gotten so much as a hug from the other Sam, much less holding him while he cried, letting him sleep on him, holding his hand, talking things through. 

“Yeah, that definitely wasn’t me,” Sam said surprised that Gabriel ever believed that it was. Then again, like he’d said, he’d wanted to believe. That can cause you to overlook a lot of things. “Is anything else different?” Sam asked. 

“The food for one. I never really got to eat before. Dean was never there either,” Gabriel said with a shrug. 

“What was the excuse for him being gone?” Sam asked curiously. Everyone knew they were joined at the hip, after all. 

“After the apocalypse you quit hunting and he didn’t,” Gabriel told him. 

“And then I go and talk about wanting to quit hunting,” Sam chided himself. 

“No, it’s okay. It worked because it was believable. Because it was something you might actually want. If that’s what you want don’t hold back for my sake,” Gabriel said quickly. 

“I don’t want to cause any setbacks,” Sam said earnestly. 

“It won’t. I’ll be fine. That was just the excuse for your brother not being around and he obviously is now.” 

“But you’re still afraid this is all going to end,” Sam guessed. 

“I think I always will be,” Gabriel said honestly.


	8. Chapter 8

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“No,” Gabriel said quickly. “There’s not. Thanks though.” Nothing good could come from telling Sam the one thing he could do to help. You couldn’t bond with an illusion, but he didn’t want it like that. Even if Sam would go for it, which was a big if, neither of them were ready for that kind of commitment. 

“There’s one thing I’m confused about though. When Lucifer possessed me, wouldn’t he have had access to my whole mind? Know everything I know and all?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah. He would,” Gabriel told him. It was how he’d been able to play Sam so convincingly after all. 

“Then why would he make me so standoffish. He would have known how I…that I wouldn’t be like that,” he corrected himself. 

He didn’t correct himself quick enough though. “How you what?” Gabriel asked curiously. 

“Nothing,” Sam said too quickly. 

“Fine. Whatever,” Gabriel grumbled. If Sam wanted to shut him out then fine. 

Sam winced. He knew what Gabriel was thinking and he was right. Here was Gabriel opening up to him and he was just shutting him out. He cursed himself for the slip of the tongue in the first place. He shouldn’t have touched this subject with a ten foot pole. He sighed. “How I feel about you. But look, Gabriel. You’re not in a good place right now. You’re still recovering from hell. You’re hurt and vulnerable and I have no intention of taking advantage of that. Ever. Soulmate or not. More than anything else, I’m your friend and I want to get you through this before even thinking of anything more.”

Gabriel sucked in a sharp breath at the mention of soulmates. “How did you know?” When Sam looked at him confused, Gabriel clarified. “The soulmates. How did you know?” 

Sam hadn’t realized he had mentioned that and once again cursed his loose tongue. He tended to babble when he felt backed into a corner and the worst things came out. “Death let it slip,” he said not looking at Gabriel. Not wanting to see his reaction. 

“Death doesn’t ‘let things slip’. If he mentioned it then he meant to,” Gabriel snapped annoyed more with the horseman than with Sam. “So he told you that we’re soulmates and got you talking yourself into having feelings for me.”

“No!” Sam protested. “I didn’t ‘talk myself into’ anything. I may not have known what it meant, but I knew that I cared about you, more than I should, from the first time we met. Even if I wouldn’t admit it to myself much less anyone else while I thought you were just a trickster, just another monster.”

“And you expect me to believe that?” Gabriel asked skeptically. 

“No. I don’t. I think believing that all this is real is enough for now. One problem at a time,” Sam said. “That’s why I didn’t want to say anything.” 

“So all this hand-holding and cuddling and crap. That’s what it is?” Gabriel accused. 

“No. It’s not. It’s to help you. To give you an anchor. Something to hold on to. If it means a little more to me than that, I can’t help it, but that’s not why I’m doing it. If…if you’d rather I stop now that you know, then I will,” Sam said sadly. 

Gabriel narrowed his eyes thoughtfully at the hunter. “I don’t know,” he said. He wasn’t sure if it would make a difference or not. “Maybe play it by ear?”

“We can do that,” Sam smiled nervously at him. He desperately hoped this revelation didn’t hinder his ability to help Gabriel. They were done eating and the sun was up by now. “Did you wanna head back or stay out a little longer…or drop this stuff off and stay out,” Sam asked. 

“I don’t know. I’d kinda like to stay outside for a while. Take it all in. You know.” 

“Yeah. I get that. Let’s drop all this by the motel and then take a real walk. See what we find,” Sam suggested. 

They dropped everything by the motel, quietly, since Dean was still asleep and slipped back out the door after Gabriel grabbed a handful of candy to put in his pockets. Now that their hands were free, Sam found himself nervous about taking Gabriel’s hand again. At least until a car backfired and Gabriel jumped and seemed ready to fly off despite the state of his grace. Sam grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly and he could see Gabriel calm down. Once he was calm, Sam continued holding his hand loosely, giving him the option to pull away or not, but the archangel just threaded their fingers together and kept walking. 

“Seeing your memories isn’t the same as understanding them,” Gabriel told him, answering the question Sam had asked before. “He lost the ability to comprehend positive emotions a long time ago. He would have seen how you acted, but not understood the why so it was always a little emptier than it should have been.”

“But you can tell the difference now,” Sam guessed, or more like hoped. 

“Yeah. I can. I just…” Sam waited patiently for him to finish his thought. “I hope it’s not just him getting better at it.”

Sam squeezed his hand reassuringly. “It’s not.”

“No offense, but if you were an illusion you probably wouldn’t know it, so you’ll have to forgive me if that doesn’t mean so much.”

“Fair enough,” Sam admitted. He could tell that Gabriel was walking the line between believing and being afraid to believe, so he would just let it go. They’d get there, eventually. 

They walked about fifteen minutes from the hotel before they ran across a park. There was a playground area off to the side but most of it was a running track, a pond in the middle and acres of grass dotted with fountains and topiaries. Sam smiled. “This is nice,” he said. 

“Yeah. Peaceful. Relaxing,” Gabriel agreed as he walked towards the lake and watched the ducks. He saw a little girl run up with some bread and start feeding them and he couldn’t help but smile. These were the kinds of things that Lucifer would never think to put in an illusion. Sam came up and put a hand on his shoulder and Gabriel couldn’t help but lean toward him and rest his head on the hunter’s shoulder for a moment. 

They weren’t sure how long they stood there, watching as group of kids and even a few adults came up to feed the ducks. The silence of the moment was broken by the sound of Sam’s phone ringing. Apparently Dean was awake. “Where are you?” his brother asked as soon as he answered. 

“Gabe and I took a walk,” Sam told him. “We’re at some park right now. You need us back?” 

“Nah. Just making sure you’re good. You’re gone and the car’s here,” he pointed out. 

“Yeah, we’re actually headed back pretty soon for lunch anyway,” Sam told him. 

“You’re at the park with the duck pond?” Dean asked, having found it yesterday when he was exploring. When Sam confirmed, Dean said, “Why don’t you meet me at the diner across the street and we can all eat.” It was about time Dean started making his peace with Gabriel, now that he was functioning again. He still maintained that Sam was the best to deal with his issues, but that didn’t mean that he had to completely disappear. 

“Lunch with Dean?” Sam asked Gabriel as a courtesy and the archangel nodded and shrugged so Sam agreed and they went ahead and walked over, grabbing a booth. It wasn’t until Gabriel let Sam order a milkshake for him that Sam realized that Gabriel hadn’t spoken to a single person other than him. When they were at the convenience store and then the bakery, Sam had done all the talking, and they hadn’t approached anyone else. He couldn’t even remember hearing Gabriel speak during the little confrontation at the store. He hoped that wouldn’t cause an issue with Dean, or that Dean would also be exempt from Gabriel’s refusal to speak. 

Dean got there about two minutes after they did, having brought the car instead of walking. Dean greeted them warmly getting a polite nod from Gabriel, who squeezed Sam’s hand a little tighter under the table. Dean raised his eyebrows and was about to make a comment, but Sam caught his eye and shook his head. He didn’t want to deal with this here. When the waitress came back to get their orders, Sam was tempted to order Gabriel a plate of asparagus just to force him into talking, but decided against it. He’d give him some more time before trying to push him out of his shell, and he ordered the archangel a large slice of chocolate cake to go with his milkshake while he and Dean ordered real food. 

It didn’t take long for Dean to give up trying to talk to Gabriel and he and Sam had a pleasant conversation while the archangel faded into the background. Well except for the small touches from Sam to make sure he still felt like he was really there. Once they were done eating, Dean asked, “You want me to drive you back to the motel before I go out?” If Gabriel was that uncomfortable with him still it would be best to leave Sam in charge of the situation for a while longer, so he would make himself scarce. After a nod from Gabriel, Sam agreed and as they were headed out, Dean held him back a second. “What was that?”

“I don’t know. I guess he’s just not comfortable talking to other people yet,” Sam said with a shrug. 

“But he’s talking to you?” Dean asked to confirm. 

“Yeah. I hadn’t even noticed the problem until just before you got there.”

“Well as long as he’s talking to someone, we know he’ll snap out of it eventually,” Dean said signaling the end to the conversation as he walked back to the car where Gabriel was already waiting in the backseat.


	9. Chapter 9

As they were on the way back, Dean’s phone rang. “Yeah Bobby,” Dean said as he answered and then after a brief pause he said, “I’ll get back to you,” and hung up. As they pulled into the motel, Dean handed Gabriel the keycard and held Sam back again. “Bobby says there’s a possible vamp nest a few hours away. We’re in the best position to take it. Anyone else would be a couple days.”

“Dean, I can’t leave Gabe like this, and we can’t take him into a battle zone. We also can’t risk getting ourselves in trouble and making him use his grace,” Sam said wearily. 

“What’s up with his grace anyway?” Dean asked. 

“It’s shredded. It’ll heal, but if he uses it like this it will damage it more, not to mention feel like ‘burning alive’ as he says, and you know full well he won’t let either of us die. If it comes to it, he will use it.” 

“So we’re turning down the job?” Dean asked pointedly. “Despite the fact that people could die?” 

“Gabriel is our job right now. Other hunters can handle it,” Sam said firmly. 

Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother searchingly. “You don’t want to hunt anymore,” he said more than asked. 

“I don’t know Dean. I mean everything so far has been working towards a goal. Yellow-eyes, getting you out of your deal, Lilith, the apocalypse, Adam…we’re done with all that now and I have to figure out where I go from here. My heart was never in it like you. Right now though, I have to get Gabe back in one piece. I can figure the rest out later,” Sam told him. 

“Fine. I get it. I guess I’ll have to get used to hunting without you anyway,” Dean said. 

“Dean, wait. Don’t go after a nest of vamps with no backup. Please,” Sam said. He didn’t know if he could handle his brother out there hunting alone without being there to watch his back. Even when he was in college he knew that Dad had Dean’s back, but now…

“Relax Sammy. I’ll tell Bobby to call in someone else. I’ll just get a head start on the legwork and do damage control until they get there,” Dean told him. 

“Dean…”

“I’m going Sam. No discussion. I’ll be careful. I won’t do anything stupid. But I’m going,” Dean told him. 

“Fine. Let’s go grab our stuff and get Gabe,” Sam told him. No way was he letting Dean go out there alone. 

“I don’t need you there if your head isn’t in the game, Sam,” Dean warned. 

“My head’ll be fine. Let’s go,” Sam snapped getting out of the car none too gently, followed by Dean. As soon as they opened the door they could hear the whimpering. Gabriel was pressed back into the corner with his elbows on his knees and his arms over his head rocking back and forth and crying. Sam rushed over and kneeled in front of him. “Gabe? Come on Gabe, snap out of it. I’m right here. You’re safe. When the archangel showed no sign of hearing him Sam sat down and pulled Gabriel onto his lap, wrapping arms loosely around him and rocking with him as he whispered reassurances to the archangel. 

“See you later, Sammy,” Dean said, bag packed and on his way out the door. 

“Dean wait!” 

“You got your job, I got mine,” Dean said as he closed the door behind him. Sam looked helplessly between the door and the archangel in his arms, but in the end he did what he had always done. What he would always do. He chose Gabriel. He justified it to himself by telling himself that Gabriel didn’t have a choice in this. Dean did. If anything happened to Dean, this would be just another thing that he would never forgive himself for, but the alternative was worse. 

“It’s okay Gabe. I’ve got you. I’m here. They can’t hurt you anymore,” Sam whispered carding a hand through the archangel’s hair. He was starting to get cramped and sore on the floor there, so he just lifted Gabriel up and settled them on the bed, not pausing in his reassurances. “Come back to me, Gabe. You can do it. I’ve got you. I’m here.”

It seemed like forever before Gabriel stopped shaking and whimpering and started clinging to Sam and the hunter started rubbing his back with one hand as the other continued running through his hair. “That’s it Gabe. I’ve got you. They can’t hurt you anymore. I’m right here,” he whispered. The next thing he knew Gabriel’s lips were on his and he was kissing him desperately and Sam couldn’t do anything but try to keep up. It wasn’t until Gabriel shifted so that he was straddling Sam’s lap and his hands went to start unbuttoning Sam’s shirt that the hunter came to his senses. “Gabriel, wait,” he said wrenching his lips away and taking Gabriel’s hands in his. 

“Sam please. I need you,” Gabriel whined moving his lips to Sam’s neck, nearly causing the hunter to say screw it and let it happen, but he couldn’t. Not like this. 

Sam flipped them over to that he was on top of Gabriel, the archangel’s arms pinned over his head and Sam was using his own legs to hold Gabriel flat on the bed, keeping as much distance as he could manage in this position. When he saw the pain of rejection flash in Gabriel’s eyes, he couldn’t help but lean down and press a soft sweet kiss to Gabriel’s lips. “We can’t do this, Gabriel. Not now. Not like this.”

“Fine. I get it,” Gabriel said harshly and started struggling against Sam’s grip. He could break free if he really wanted to, but it would involve using his grace to augment his strength and that wasn’t a good idea. 

“No, Gabriel. I don’t think you do,” Sam said gently. 

“You said you wanted me, but when the time comes you push me away. It’s not exactly rocket science,” Gabriel snapped. 

“I also said that I had no intention of taking advantage of you while you’re hurting and vulnerable and that’s exactly what I would be doing if I let this happen now. I do want you, Gabriel. More than anything. But only when we are both in our right minds and doing it for the right reasons.”

He could see when some semblance of reason returned to the archangel and he let Gabriel’s hands go and gave him an encouraging smile so that he would know all was forgiven. Gabriel lifted a hand to the side of Sam’s face and pulled him down for one more lingering, chaste kiss before Sam moved off him. “To be continued?” he asked hopefully. 

“You better believe it,” Sam said with a chuckle as he held out his arms for Gabriel, who settled there as if that was where he belonged. He let them rest there and enjoy the moment for a little while before he asked the question. “What happened there?” 

“You mean when I kissed you?” Gabriel asked. 

“No. Before,” Sam told him. 

“I was…back in the cage. I mean, not really apparently, but mentally, I guess,” Gabriel said starting to shake a little bit again. 

Sam tightened his arms around him. “Tell me about it?” Sam asked gently. 

“You don’t want to know,” Gabriel told him. 

“Maybe not, but it’ll help if you talk about it, and I need to know how to help if it happens again and to do that I need to know,” Sam told him. 

Gabriel was silent for a long time, but Sam waited patiently. “I was…back on the rack. Lucifer…he…he looked like you and he was…he was ripping me open with his angel blade...taunting me…as you. Telling me how worthless I was. That I would…would never be worth your love. That you…hated me and always would. All the while ripping my body and my grace into pieces. I…I don’t know which was worse. The physical pain or…or hearing those words from you. Having ‘you’ inflict the pain.”

Sam held him tightly and pressed a kiss to his head. “You are not worthless Gabriel. You are priceless. You deserve far better than me, and I would consider myself lucky if you chose me anyway. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you,” Sam assured him. That explained Gabriel’s little outburst. He wanted to prove the devil wrong. “It’s because you mean so much to me that I won’t let things go too far before we’re ready. I couldn’t handle messing this up because we jumped into this too soon. I couldn’t handle hurting you, because believe me, it would. Whether you think so now or not.”

“I…I know, Sam. I…thank you,” Gabriel said burying his head in Sam’s chest.


	10. Chapter 10

“Don’t give up on me, Sam. Don’t let go,” Gabriel whispered fearfully. 

“Never, Gabe. Never,” Sam said holding him tighter. Once Gabriel’s shaking subsided and he seemed to be calm though Sam said. “I have something I need to do real quick and I don’t know if you want to be here for it or not.” Gabriel looked up at him and raised a curious eyebrow. “I need to talk to Cas for a minute, but I don’t know if you want him to know you’re back.”

“Yeah, I really don’t. Especially if he’s back in heaven’s good graces,” Gabriel said with a wince. 

“Well I wouldn’t say good graces, but yeah he’s back in heaven. Would he be able to sense you nearby if I go outside and talk to him?” Sam asked. 

“Not in the shape my grace is currently in. If he sees me then yeah, but as long as he doesn’t get a look at me we’ll be good,” Gabriel told him. 

“Will you be okay if I step outside for a few minutes?” Sam asked nervously remembering what happened the last time he left Gabriel’s side. 

“I’ll be okay,” Gabriel assured him with far more confidence than he felt. 

“Okay. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Sam said pressing a kiss to the archangel’s forehead as he got up and walked outside. “Cas, I really need to talk to you for a sec. It’s important. It’s about Dean.”

“What is it?” Sam heard along with a flutter off to the side.

“He’s gone off on a hunt on his own. A nest of Vampires. He says he won’t engage until backup arrives, but you know how those things go. I was hoping you could keep an eye on him?” 

“Why are you not with him?” Cas asked with his signature curious head tilt. 

“Because I have a job to finish up here, but you know him. He doesn’t want to wait,” Sam told him. 

“I have been forbidden from coming to earth. As you can see I care nothing for these orders, however if I am being watched, I may be unable to get away. I will do my best though,” Cas assured him. 

“Thanks Cas. That means a lot. Anything you can do would be great, but don’t get yourself in too much trouble,” Sam told him. 

“I will be careful, Sam. Thank you,” Cas said before he disappeared and Sam sighed and walked back into the room to find Gabriel sitting sullenly on the bed. 

“I’m just a ‘job to finish up’?” the archangel asked. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. 

Sam rushed over to him. “God, no, Gabe,” he said as he pulled the archangel into his arms again. “If I had told him I refused to go, then he would have wanted to know what was so important and start snooping and find you. If I told him Dean and I had a fight, then he would probably take me to him so we could ‘work it out’ so I told him what I could to allay his suspicions. 

“You wouldn’t go,” Gabriel said as if he was realizing something important. 

“I can’t leave you like this. I WON’T leave you like this and you’re in no shape to go along for a hunt,” Sam told him. 

Gabriel blinked at him for a moment. Choosing him over the brother he barely knew and didn’t particularly like was one thing, but choosing him over Dean…that meant something. That was big. A smile broke out on Gabriel’s face as he burrowed into the hunter’s arms and sighed contentedly. Sam too smiled. He knew he won something here, but he wasn’t quite sure what. He would take it though. 

Sam did have another matter to address with Gabriel though, but he let it be for a little while. He would give Gabriel a chance to be comfortable and happy for a bit before he brought it up. He waited until it was time for dinner and started on the leftover pizza while Gabriel dug into his candy. “So I wanted to ask…what’s with this not talking to anyone else thing?” 

Gabriel paused with a candy bar halfway to his mouth before he sighed heavily. “It’s just…my mind is in so many different places right now, and you…well…you don’t care if I need a minute to organize my thoughts or…or if I get lost in the middle of a sentence…or if I respond to something that only happened in my head, but other people…” 

Sam nodded. “I understand, but I think people might surprise you,” he said gently. 

“No. They won’t. They’ll either look at me like I’m crazy or they’ll look at me with pity,” Gabriel said distastefully. “It’s hard enough to take the pity from you. From anyone else…no, thanks.”

Sam found that he couldn’t actually dispute that. Gabriel was probably right. At least for the most part. Except… “Not anyone who knows what you’ve been through. Not Dean.”

“Still…I just…” Gabriel trailed off with a shrug. 

“Hey, it’s okay if you need more time. I get it. I just wanted to understand,” Sam assured him. Gabriel gave him a shy smile and a nod but didn’t say anything more. A few minutes later Sam’s phone rang. He had been expecting a call from Bobby. 

“Hey Bobby,” Sam said tiredly. 

“Your brother called me, asked me to send him backup. He said you weren’t with him but wouldn’t say why. You idjits fighting again?” he asked gruffly. 

“No. Nothing like that…It’s just…hang on,” Sam put a hand over the receiver and whispered, “Can I tell Bobby?” Gabriel just shrugged and motioned for him to go ahead. Keeping something from their surrogate father when both Sam and Dean knew would be more trouble than it was worth. “Thank you,” Sam mouthed as he got back to the call. “Well you know how we were trying to rescue Adam from the cage?” 

“What don’t tell me you actually managed it?” Bobby asked. 

“In a manner of speaking. See we tracked down Death and got him to help, but it turns out Adam wasn’t in the cage, but…um…Gabriel was. It was him that rescued me from it, getting himself trapped in the process. So…yeah…Gabriel’s back and not in the best of shape after about two hundred years in the cage.”

“Hell I’m surprised he’s got any mind left at all,” Bobby said with a bit of respect for the renegade archangel. Anyone who sacrificed so much to save his boys was alright in his book. “You two need a place to lay low and recoup, door’s open,” he offered. 

“Thanks Bobby. We might take you up on that. I’ll let you know,” Sam said gratefully. Staying in this motel forever wasn’t really an option, but he wasn’t sure how much good it would do Gabriel to be around the hunter’s hotline knowing he couldn’t help if anyone was in a jam, but then again, he would know more lore than any living being so maybe he could be a help in that way. He decided to run it past the archangel. 

Once he got off the phone with Bobby, he turned to Gabriel again. “Bobby says if we wanna hang at his place we’re welcome.” Gabriel just shrugged. “Uh-uh. That’s not gonna work this time. I need an actual opinion. You don’t wanna go or you think you can’t handle it then we don’t go.”

“I can’t keep holding you back Sam. What about what you want?” Gabriel said. 

Sam’s lips twitched into a smile. “I’ll tell you what. If it will make you feel better, once you’re back to your old self we can do whatever I want for a while. Right now, you’re the most important thing.”

“I just don’t know,” Gabriel admitted with a shrug. 

“Okay, well let me tell you what I’m thinking about it and you can chime in. Deal?” Gabriel nodded so Sam continued. “Well Bobby’s house is the hunter’s hub. He gets calls about jobs that need done. I don’t want you to feel bad for me not taking a job and feel like it’s because of you.”

“Oh that’s fine. I know you don’t really want to hunt anymore, so it won’t bother me,” Gabriel told him. 

“Hunters also call in when they’re in trouble. I don’t want you to feel tempted to jump in and use your powers before you’re ready,” Sam told him. 

Gabriel chuckled a bit. “Have you ever known of me playing guardian angel to other hunters?” 

“No. I guess not,” Sam said with a sheepish shrug. “And you do know more lore than anyone. If you’re willing you could help out with information if Bobby and I get stumped,” he suggested. 

“Yeah. I could do that,” Gabriel said with a shrug. It wouldn’t be overly onerous. 

“I can tell you don’t really like cars, but Bobby’s is in the middle of nowhere. We would have to drive to get anywhere,” Sam pointed out. 

“When you say in the middle of nowhere you mean…” 

“It’s a salvage yard so there are a lot of junk cars and stuff around. After that there is a forest and a river running through it, but that’s about it for at least ten miles. No stores, no restaurants, nothing.”

“That…might be nice,” Gabriel admitted. The peace he had found at the lake yesterday wasn’t far from his mind and he knew why. It was nature. It was his father’s creation. Not to mention that when he took on the aspects of the pagans they were very connected to nature as well. A forest and a river might be just what he needed to get back to himself. He might even be able to relax there while Sam made runs into town as needed. 

“So what do you think? Do you want to go?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah. I think I do,” Gabriel said. 

“Great. You think you’re up to taking a bus trip? We can have Bobby pick us up at the Sioux Falls station.” 

Gabriel considered for a moment if he could handle a bus. On one hand it was larger than a car. He wouldn’t feel quite so boxed in, but if he did lose it, there would be a lot of people around to witness it, unlike in a car. “I don’t know,” Gabriel said with a wince. 

“Okay. No problem. I’ll go procure us a car then,” Sam assured him. 

“You mean steal one?” Gabriel asked pointedly. 

“Well…yeah…unless you have a better idea.”

“Yeah. I do,” Gabriel said rolling his eyes. It wasn’t that he had anything morally against the idea of stealing a car. It was more that he definitely didn’t want to risk waiting for the return of his powers in a jail cell. He pulled out his platinum card and tossed it to Sam. “Rent one.”

Sam blinked at the card and then at Gabriel for a minute. He wasn’t used to having money to spare. He got on the computer and ordered one to pick them up in an hour while they packed and checked out of their room. He’d noticed Gabriel getting tired and supposed that until his grace healed he may need to sleep and it would be better if he slept while they were on the road.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam had rented the largest SUV they had. He wanted to give Gabriel as much open space as he could and since the archangel made it clear that cost wasn’t an issue, he felt free to splurge. When the guy got there with it, Gabriel signed the receipt since it was his credit card and they piled their stuff in and climbed in. Sam suspected that Gabriel would sleep better with contact with him so he motioned the archangel over and had him lie down with his head in Sam’s lap. “How long is it going to take to get there?” Gabriel asked incredulously. 

“About six hours,” Sam told him. “Best to sleep through as much as you can.” 

“What about you?” Gabriel asked pointedly. “You need to sleep too.”

“I’ll be fine. Between college and hunting, staying up for a few days is nothing new for me,” Sam assured him. 

“Doesn’t mean it’s good for you,” Gabriel grumbled. 

“Don’t worry so much about me,” Sam told him. “I promise I won’t push myself too hard.”

“See that you don’t,” Gabriel said lying down and closing his eyes as Sam pulled out of the parking lot. 

It didn’t take long for Gabriel to fall asleep and whenever Sam could spare a hand from the wheel it was running through the archangel’s soft hair as he smiled. Now that he had some time to think, he couldn’t get those kisses out of his head. Not that first desperate, needy kiss, but the ones that followed. The ones that were soft and sweet and full of promise and hope. Sam was now more sure than ever that once Gabriel was well, they would have something. Something special and unparalleled, and he found himself looking forward to it. It was a very peaceful drive and he found himself pulling up at Bobby’s around three am. He didn’t want to wake either Bobby or Gabriel, so he just put his seat back and went to sleep right there in the car, glad again that they had gotten an SUV because even in a large sedan he would be cramped. 

When Gabriel woke up as the sun was coming up, he was face to face with Sam’s morning problem and it was oh so tempting to just take care of it for him. By the time Sam woke up he would be too far gone to stop him even, but he resisted. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew Sam was right. If they started something now, while he was still a mess, it would cause problems later. Anyone else he wouldn’t care, but this was his soulmate. He wanted them to have every chance possible to make this work. He gently untangled Sam’s hand from his hair, trying not to wake the hunter as he sat up. He couldn’t really stomach sitting in this little box now that he was awake, but he knew opening the door would surely wake Sam and who knew how little he’d slept so far. 

He took a moment to consider his options before rolling down the window and climbing out. He was glad he was small and spry and he took a short walk into the woods next to them. He wouldn’t go far. He knew Sam would be worried when he woke up and Gabriel was gone, so he made sure to stay in earshot, but he just needed to get out. It was a good thing he did stay within earshot too as he heard the old man come out of the house and managed to intercept him. “He’s sleeping. He drove all night so I could sleep during the trip, so we should let him sleep.” 

“Why didn’t he just wait to leave until this morning?” Bobby asked gruffly. 

Gabriel couldn’t help the color that rose to his face. He knew if they were going to be staying here then he would need to know. “I don’t do well in enclosed spaces,” he said with a sheepish shrug. 

“Right. Makes sense,” Bobby said matter-of-factly looking at the SUV. “Climbed out the window?” he asked amused. Gabriel just gave a half smile and a shrug. Now that he was assured of Sam’s well-being, he didn’t need to talk anymore and nothing else could have made him talk. Bobby seemed to get the picture so he just said, “Well feel free to come in if you want or wait until Sam wakes up. Either way, door’s open.” Gabriel gave him a grateful smile and headed back towards the trees, pulling a candy bar from his pocket to munch on. 

A few hours later, Sam creaked his eyes open and glanced around the SUV bolting upright when he realized he was alone. He wrenched the door open and jumped out, “Gabriel!” he called worriedly. 

“Right here,” he heard a voice coming from the trees a minute before the archangel came into view and Sam grabbed him up in a hug. Gabriel couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “I wasn’t gonna go far. I wanted to let you sleep, but I needed some fresh air.”

“Sorry,” Sam muttered. He knew he was being ridiculous and over-protective, but since he’d been back nothing good had come from Gabriel being out of his sight. 

“Don’t be. I’m glad you care,” Gabriel told him. 

Sam stepped back and smiled at him. “Of course I care,” he said fondly, pressing a kiss to the archangel’s forehead before looking back to the house. “We should go let Bobby know we’re here.”

“He knows. He came out a few hours ago, but I didn’t let him wake you up,” Gabriel told him. 

Sam raised an eyebrow, wondering if that meant Gabriel actually spoke to him, but decided not to ask. If he did then it wouldn’t do to draw attention to it. “Well what do you say we take our stuff in and check in while I grab something to eat and then if you want we can take a walk and I can show you the river,” Sam suggested.

Gabriel quickly agreed so they headed inside to find Bobby sitting on the phone with a large book in front of him and he held up a finger for them to wait a second. Gabriel walked over and looked at the paper he had in front of him where he had scribbled a few things that apparently whatever hunter he was talking to knew about whatever he was hunting and Gabriel nudged the old hunter’s arm off the book and flipped it to the right page, pointing at the culprit. Bobby skimmed the entry and then gave the archangel a grateful look as he relayed the information to the hunter on the phone. “Well I can tell you’re gonna be handy to have around,” he joked. “There’s a pot of beef stew on the stove. Good you woke up in time for lunch,” he said as he wheeled himself around the desk. 

Sam was still trying to get used to Bobby being in the wheelchair again. Gabriel looked at it curiously and then back to Sam. “It’s kind of a long story. Bobby stabbed himself with the demon knife when he got possessed, but ended up paralyzed. He had to make a deal with Crowley for him to track down Death and he threw in the use of his legs again, but then didn’t give back Bobby’s soul like he agreed to so when we conned him into giving it up, he cancelled the whole thing so Bobby’s back in the chair.” Sam hesitated a bit before saying, “I was kinda hoping, once you had your powers back, you could help out with that.” He had always intended to ask, but he hadn’t intended to do it now. He was originally going to wait until it could be done. 

Gabriel shrugged in a way that Sam took to mean, ‘why not’ and told Bobby, “That means sure,” with a laugh, trying to clue the old man in on the fact that Gabriel didn’t want to talk and not leaving him hanging waiting for an answer. 

“Thanks. Appreciate it,” Bobby said gruffly, not being so good with thanks, but it needed to be said. Gabriel nodded to him respectfully. “So what’s with that monstrosity out there. Never known you to steal anything so nice,” Bobby asked changing the subject as Sam sat down to eat and pulled a candy bar out of his pocket for Gabriel, not sure if the archangel still had any on him, but it felt weird eating with him just sitting there. Especially since he wasn’t talking. 

“I didn’t steal it. Gabe didn’t want to risk sitting in jail until his powers came back so he had me rent it on his platinum card,” Sam said with a laugh. 

“Nice,” Bobby said. “When you gotta have it back?” 

“Well we got it for one day so by close of business today. Figured I’d ask you if you’re good with them coming here to pick it up or if you want to follow us into town and drive us back,” Sam inquired. 

“Probably best they don’t come here. There’s been some unrest in the area and you know this place is a magnet for that stuff,” Bobby told him. He might have gone a little overboard with the demon interrogations while he was trying to get his soul back so they were understandably unhappy with him. The last thing he needed was to have some suit show up to be used as leverage. 

“Okay. Sounds good,” Sam told him. Once they finished eating, Sam said, “Gabe and I are gonna take a walk for a while before we take the car back.” Bobby just waved them off as the FBI phone was ringing.


	12. Chapter 12

It took about twenty minutes through the woods until they got to the river and Gabriel walked over to the bank and just enjoyed the sights and sounds of the rushing water. Being in the woods that morning had helped a great deal, but this was even better. He’d always had a great affinity with water. When he felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder, he grabbed it and pulled the hunter forward, wrapping his arms around Gabriel’s stomach and leaned back against him. Sam rested his chin on top of Gabriel’s head with a happy smile. 

Sam kept an eye on his watch knowing they only had a few hours before they had to go return the car as they just enjoyed the moment in silence. That was one of his favorite things about Gabriel. How they could just stand here in complete silence and it was comfortable and peaceful. He had a feeling that even once Gabriel was back to his normal self, there would be a lot of this. He always seemed like he was putting on a show with his boisterousness. Oh, Sam was sure that a good part of him was really that way, but a good part of him was like this too, and that was something Sam could definitely get behind. He looked forward to getting to know all aspect of his archangel’s personality. 

It was about three-thirty when Sam sighed and said, “We should probably go take the car back pretty soon.”

“Go ahead,” Gabriel told him. “I’m gonna hang out here instead.”

“Are you sure?” Sam asked, voice betraying his nervousness at the prospect. 

Gabriel smiled and turned in Sam’s arms, pressing a short sweet kiss to the hunter’s lips. “I’m sure. I’ll be fine.” Sam still seemed to hesitate and Gabriel knew that he needed a reason. Sam always needed reasons. “As both an archangel and a pagan, I have a deep affinity with nature. Being out here is…healing for me. You can take a break from your babysitting,” he closed with a joke, but left just enough seriousness in it that Sam knew he meant it. 

Sam had to admit it made sense, and he knew he was hovering a little bit, but it still made him nervous leaving Gabriel alone like this. “I’ll be back so don’t wander too far?” he asked. 

“I won’t,” Gabriel promised. Sam leaned down and kissed him one more time, just as chaste as Gabriel’s had been, lingering for a few seconds before he left and headed back to the house. 

Bobby apparently heard him coming because he met him outside. “Where’s your attachment?” he asked. 

“He’s gonna stay out at the river for a while,” Sam told him. 

“Makes sense,” Bobby said as he headed for his van that was modified for him to use. 

“It does?” Sam asked. Sure, he got it now, but he had needed it explained. 

“Well yeah. He’s an archangel and a pagan. Been locked in the cage for a couple centuries. Nature’s probably the best cure for him,” Bobby said with a shrug. 

Sam was, as usual, awed by the old man’s intuition and knowledge and just shook his head as he got into the behemoth they were returning. Once they were headed back in Bobby’s van, conversation turned towards Gabriel, as Sam had expected. “So I notice he don’t talk much,” Bobby asked more than said. 

“Yeah. He’s kinda…disjointed these days and isn’t really comfortable drawing attention to it with other people. I did manage to get him talking to me at least, but he wouldn’t utter a word in front of Dean either. I’m gonna give him a little more time to resolve it himself before I push the matter.”

“Well just remind him that if anyone knows the effects of trauma, it’s hunters. We won’t think any less of him for it,” Bobby told him. 

“Yeah. I mentioned that and I think he’d find it easier talking to you and Dean than anyone else, but it’s just gonna take time,” Sam told him. 

“Well that’s what you’re here for,” Bobby said with a nod. “So anything I should know? Subjects to avoid, he have night terrors, flashbacks, anything like that?” 

“Well I wouldn’t mention torture,” Sam said with a dry chuckle. “But other than that I can’t think of any taboo subjects. Haven’t had any night terrors but then the only two times he’s slept, he’s fallen asleep on me so who knows what would happen if he slept alone. He’s had one flashback so far that I know of. The first day he spent huddled in the corner and wouldn’t come out, so I don’t know if he had any then or not.”

“Well if it helps you can take my bed until I get my legs back again. It’s probably gonna be hard to squeeze two people on those little beds in yours and Dean’s room and I can’t get up the stairs anyway so I sleep on the couch. No funny business though!” he added as an afterthought. 

Sam rolled his eyes and laughed. “There’s no funny business to be had,” he assured the old hunter. 

“Yet,” Bobby said knowingly. “Just make sure it stays the hell out of my bed if it comes up.”

Sam wasn’t going to ask how Bobby knew. Bobby knew everything, so he just settled for, “I promise,” before changing the subject. “So you send some help for Dean?” He’d talked to his brother last night so Dean knew they were at Bobby’s and would join them when he was finished there. 

“Yeah. Eric and Shane will be there around mid-day tomorrow. I just hope your brother doesn’t get in over his head in the meantime.”

“I sicced Cas on him. He can’t make any promises. Apparently they’re watching him pretty closely, but something tells me he’d save Dean regardless if the situation got dire enough.”

“Good thinking. Least we know he’ll survive,” Bobby said. 

“Yeah. That’s all I’m really worried about. If he gets knocked around a bit that’s what he gets for going off on his own,” Sam said bitterly. 

“I’m with you kid,” Bobby said gruffly as they pulled back into the salvage yard. 

Sam got out with a quick, “Thanks Bobby,” and started heading back towards where he left Gabriel. 

“Hold up a sec,” Bobby called. “If you’re gonna end up out there half the night, you should come in and have some dinner first. He’ll be fine a few more minutes.” Sam had to admit that Bobby had a point and who knew when Gabriel would be ready to come in, so he went in and grabbed a quick bite. “And don’t forget a coat when you go back out there. It’ll start getting cold soon. He need one too or his powers still protecting him? I got a few extras around here.”

“Thanks dad,” Sam teased. “He’s probably fine, but I’ll take one just in case. He said his powers were still maintaining his vessel so I’m guessing that would fall under that category. Better safe than sorry though.” 

He headed back out with the coats and got back to the riverbank where he had left Gabriel but didn’t see the archangel anywhere around. He forced himself not to panic again and just said, “Gabriel? Where are you?” He nearly punched the little archangel when he dropped from the tree to land right in front of him. “Jesus!” he exclaimed in shock. 

“Nope. Gabriel. Thought you’d know that by now,” the archangel chirped amusedly. 

Despite the fact that his heart was still trying to find a normal rhythm again, Sam couldn’t help the grin that broke out on his face at Gabriel’s light-hearted banter. He almost seemed like his old self there. “Of course. How silly of me,” Sam joked rolling his eyes as he pulled Gabriel in for a playful hug. “Seems like being out here has done you some good,” Sam observed. 

“Yeah. It has. Still got a long way to go, but I’m making progress,” he said wistfully. 

“I brought you a coat. Not sure if you’d need one when it starts getting cold,” Sam told him. 

“I won’t. But thanks.”

“You know, I think Bobby has some old camping gear if you want to stay out here for a few days,” Sam suggested. 

“Nah. Maybe when I don’t need to sleep anymore, but I don’t think I could handle being in a tiny tent. As flimsy as it is, it’s still closed in,” Gabriel said. “It’s a nice thought though. And don’t feel like you need to stay out here with me all the time either. I’m good if you need to take a break.”

“Do you want me to go?” Sam asked, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice, but not doing as well as he intended. 

“No, I want you to stay, but I don’t NEED you to,” Gabriel explained. 

“Does me being here help you at all? Even just a little bit?” Sam asked. 

Gabriel considered lying. He didn’t want Sam to feel obligated at all, but he could tell that Sam needed to feel useful. “Yeah. It does. An…an anchor…like you said.”

“Then I’m not going anywhere,” Sam said sliding behind Gabriel and wrapping his arms around the archangel’s stomach again. 

Gabriel smiled and snuggled deeper into the hunter’s arms. “Being out here heals my grace. Being with you heals my mind,” he told Sam. 

“Then we’ll come out here as much as you need for as long as you need,” Sam told him.


	13. Chapter 13

Sam had put his coat on about the time the sun started to set. Fall in South Dakota could get very cool in the evenings. It was a few hours later before he felt Gabriel start to shiver in his arms and he knew it wasn’t from the cold. “What is it?” he asked concerned. 

“Just remembering,” Gabriel said in a small voice. 

“Tell me?” Sam asked, knowing that it would do Gabriel good to talk about it, rather than try to keep it bottled up. 

“I was…on the rack. I spent a lot of time there. They were both coming at me. They both had their blades and they were…peeling strips of flesh off me, but since they were using their archangel blades, it was peeling away my grace too which hurt even worse. All the while they kept telling me how I was a sorry excuse for an angel. It was good that I left. No one ever wanted me anyway. I…I didn’t deserve to be an angel…that I…belonged with the pagan scum. They said…that I wasn’t their brother anymore. That I never was.” Sam’s arms tightened around the archangel as he could hear the tightening in Gabriel’s voice as the tears started to fall. “When they were done…peeling me…they started breaking bones. I tried not to scream. I tried so hard. I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction, but I couldn’t help it. That just made them laugh. They enjoyed my suffering…my brothers…”

Gabriel’s knees buckled and Sam held him long enough to get settled on the ground with Gabriel in his lap and Gabriel buried his face in Sam’s neck as the dam broke and his silent tears turned to sobs. “I can’t pretend to know what you’re feeling,” Sam said softly as he rubbed the archangel’s back and arms. “But I can tell you this. They’re assholes. They lost anything angelic they ever had a long time ago. You never did. You’re a better angel than they could ever be. Even as a pagan you’re a better angel. I think they were lying when they said they never wanted you, but even if they weren’t it was their loss. Knowing you is a gift, Gabriel. One that they lost,” Sam murmured reassuringly as the archangel cried himself out. Sam knew this was a big step. Sure he had cried before. When he realized that he was safe. After he had a flashback and was lost in the memories, but this was different. This was cleansing. This was him talking it out and learning to move on. 

“You’re strong, Gabriel. Stronger than anyone…me included…has ever given you credit for. You will get past this and you will move on. You will be happy. You will live a good life. And they will be trapped down there with their bitterness and hate forever. You won, Gabe. And I am so proud of you. Every moment you keep going, I am so proud,” Sam said pressing a kiss to the archangel’s head. After a pause he gave a sad smile and said, “I may not be able to carry this burden for you, but I can carry you.”

Gabriel snorted a laugh through his tears. “Lord of the Rings, Sammy? I knew you were a geek,” he joked. 

Sam chuckled as he squeezed Gabriel a little tighter. “Hey, I think you’d like it if you ever read it,” he protested half-heartedly. 

“Have. My favorite books,” Gabriel said sniffling a little bit as he started to pull himself together. 

“See? You’re a geek too,” Sam teased. 

“I never denied it,” Gabriel said trying to sound smug as he wiped the remains of his tears from his face. “We should get back,” he said standing up and holding out a hand for Sam. “Before you get sick from the cold.”

Sam took his hand and let the archangel haul him to his feet, but said, “I’m good if you need some more time.”

“Nah. I’m pretty wiped. I could use some sleep,” Gabriel said dismissively. Sam just smiled at him and nodded as he took Gabriel’s hand and they started walking back towards the house. 

“So we have two options for sleeping arrangements. There is a room with a big bed we can share, or two small beds if you’d rather sleep alone,” Sam told him. 

“I don’t want you to become too much of a crutch,” Gabriel told him. 

“I can understand that, but you said you wouldn’t be sleeping too much longer anyway so it doesn’t really matter. And you’re still in pretty bad shape. We can always see about fixing things later if it becomes a problem, but there’s no point in making it one before then. If you’d really rather sleep alone, that’s okay, but don’t do it because you’re worried about other things,” Sam told him gently. 

Gabriel thought about it for a moment. If it hadn’t been for what was so fresh on his mind, he might have made a different choice, but he didn’t know if he could face being alone tonight. “Then yeah. Together is good. For tonight at least. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try sleeping alone.”

“As long as you know you don’t have to,” Sam told him acceptingly. 

Gabriel squeezed the hunter’s hand. “Thank you, Sam,” he said earnestly. “I don’t think I’ve said that enough.”

“You don’t need to say it at all. But you’re welcome,” Sam said with a smile. 

When they got back to the house, Bobby was already dozed off in his chair and Sam smiled fondly at him, closed the whiskey, put the glass in the sink and draped a blanket over his shoulders before he followed Gabriel upstairs. By the time he got up there, Gabriel was already in his boxers and undershirt, sliding under the blanket and Sam quickly followed. Despite sleeping so late today, he too was exhausted. Once Sam was settled into bed, Gabriel curled up to his side and rested his head on the hunter’s shoulder. “Goodnight Sam,” Gabriel said softly. 

“Goodnight Gabriel,” Sam said with a smile, pressing a kiss to the archangel’s hair. 

Sam woke first the next morning and the first thing he noticed was the erection pressed against his thigh. The second thing he noticed was the leg draped over his own erection and he stifled a groan. This was going to be harder than he thought. He gently dislodged himself from the archangel’s embrace and made for the shower to take care of his little problem. Thankfully, Gabriel seemed to sleep like the dead. 

Gabriel didn’t wake up until Sam slipped back into the room to grab some clothes from his bag, still toweling his hair dry. Gabriel blinked sleepily at him for a minute before heading for the bathroom himself. Sam forced himself not to think about it, but the traitorous part of his brain pointed out that archangels didn’t need to use the bathroom or shower or do anything else that could be done in a bathroom except…he stopped his train of thought before it created yet another problem. 

Gabriel closed the bathroom door behind him and leaned his head against it and sighed. Partially with relief and partially with frustration. This was the first time he’d been hard since…well…since Elysian Fields. And it had been a couple hundred years for him. He had been worried that he was damaged forever. He wished it hadn’t come back now though. It could have waited a little longer. At least until Sam could help him do something with it. Now he was stuck taking care of it on his own. He pulled himself out of his boxers and wrapped his hand around it, biting his lip against the moan that threatened to spill out. On second thought, he was glad that it didn’t wait until he and Sam could be together or he would definitely embarrass himself. Just that initial touch was nearly enough to send him over the edge and as it was it didn’t take more than a few tugs before he was coming over his hand. 

He shakily cleaned up and tucked himself back inside his shorts, heading back to the room to get dressed. He would be so glad when he could use his powers again and not have to do all this the hard way. Once they were dressed and ready, he and Sam headed downstairs and he surprised the hunter by heading for the kitchen and starting to pull out ingredients for breakfast. “You can cook?” Sam asked incredulously. 

Gabriel half-smiled. “Making something much greater than the sum of its parts is the closest I’ll ever get to creation without my powers. I’ve always found it rather relaxing,” he admitted. 

Gabriel struggled a bit figuring out where to find things, not that he told Sam what he was looking for so he could help, but once he had everything he needed, Sam watched as he expertly whipped up a big breakfast. The smell of the bacon bringing Bobby into the kitchen about halfway through. “Something smells good,” the old hunter observed as he looked nervously around the kitchen.

“Don’t worry,” Sam told him. “I’ll clean up after.” 

“I can clean too you know,” Gabriel muttered.

“I’m sure you can, but if you’re doing the cooking it’s only fair that I do the cleaning. Unless, of course, you find cleaning relaxing too?” Sam asked pointedly already guessing what the answer was. 

Gabriel shrugged. “Not particularly.” On one hand he thought he owed Sam this much and more for everything the hunter was doing for him, but he understood Sam’s need to feel that things were fair. Besides which, he didn’t exactly want the hunter to get used to being waited on, so he let it drop. If Sam wanted to clean up, then he was welcome to it.


	14. Chapter 14

Gabriel showed how well he knew the hunters, even Bobby, when he delivered their pancakes just the way they liked them. Sam’s with sliced bananas and quartered strawberries on top, Bobby’s with maple syrup and he made his own with chocolate chips and chocolate syrup. He split the bacon between the two of them. He liked bacon well enough, but he could take it or leave it and he knew how much they loved it, so he just munched on a couple pieces as he was cooking and left the rest for the hunters. 

As they finished eating and Sam grabbed the plates to start cleaning up, Bobby pulled out some newspaper clippings from the side of his chair and slid them over to Gabriel. “Not sure if there’s anything there, but it was fishy enough I thought you could look over them and see if you caught something I missed,” he said. 

Gabriel flipped through them as he was eating, skimming for the important details. He had to admit feeling needed and being useful was nice. He was pretty sure he knew what was going on by the third article, but he skimmed them all just to be sure. “Fire elemental. Nasty things. Hang around volcanoes, but can hitch a ride with someone through something as small as volcanic pebble on their shoe.”

“Never heard of em,” Bobby said gruffly, annoyed with himself that there was something he didn’t know. “How do you kill em?” 

“Not surprised. They’re rare. Even around volcanoes. Use salt water to slow it down, then a cypress stake to the core,” Gabriel told him, not noticing Sam beaming from the sink where he was washing the dishes. Gabriel was talking. In full sentences. To someone other than him. 

“The core like the heart?” Bobby asked, already thinking of who could take something like this on. 

“They don’t have bodies or anything. They are more like sentient balls of fire. The core will be the piece that is burning brighter than the rest. Judging from these articles, it’s grown quite a bit so the core will probably be the size of a baseball, maybe bigger.” 

“So how much salt water we talking? It make a difference if it’s iodized salt or does it need to be sea salt?” Bobby started firing questions. 

“A lot. And at high pressure. Like a fire hose. Sea salt is better, but iodized salt will work. Similar concentration to sea water.”

“Yeah since this is in Arkansas we’ll just have to wing it. Not like there’s any oceans around,” Bobby said already turning ideas over in his head. “Anything else I should know?” 

“They’re fast and vicious. They prefer burning natural materials but they’ll take what they can get. They don’t care about casualties. Anything that gets in their way is fair game. Flame retardant gear will help, but not as much as against normal fire. Could be the difference between life and death though. Make sure whoever you send is quick on their feet and not easily panicked. This thing will fight back with a vengeance.”

“And you’re sure there’s only one?” Bobby asked. 

“Positive. Even disregarding how rare they are, they don’t play well with others and they don’t spawn at all. The last time two of them met Rome burned in a day,” Gabriel told him. 

“Thanks,” Bobby said as he turned his chair around to hit the phones. “And if you aren’t gonna come back for lunch, take some sandwiches with you,” he called as he was already dialing the first number on his list. He didn’t doubt that they would be heading back to the woods again today and he didn’t want Sam to go hungry. He had a tendency to forget to eat when he had a lot on his mind.

Gabriel hadn’t considered that so while Sam was finishing the cleanup, Gabriel got up and started making some chicken sandwiches with lettuce and mayo for the hunter before refilling his own pockets with some more of the candy left from his stash. He rummaged around for a bit before finding a small cooler and put a six pack of beer and a gallon of water for Sam, a six pack of yoohoo for himself and tossed the sandwiches on top before dumping all the ice from the icemaker over top of it. By the time he was done, Sam was just wiping down the counters and they headed out. 

Sam offered to carry the cooler but Gabriel waved him off. Even without his powers he was still stronger than any human. Even a super-human like Sam. When they got to what was becoming their spot at the riverbank, Gabriel set the cooler down by the tree and pulled out a beer and tossed it to Sam before grabbing his own drink and setting off on a walk down the river. Sam fell into step beside him and asked, “You okay?”

“As well as can be expected,” Gabriel said. “Why?” He was curious what prompted this fresh concern. 

“All that talk about fire,” Sam said tentatively. 

“Nah. Contrary to popular belief there’s not that much fire in hell, and none in the cage,” Gabriel told him. 

“Oh. Well that’s good,” Sam wasn’t sure what to say to that. It seemed the little he thought he knew about hell was wrong. “So you’re okay with helping Bobby out?” he asked. He didn’t want anyone pushing Gabriel into something that made him uncomfortable. 

“It would be rather rude if I wasn’t since he is being hospitable enough to let us stay here,” Gabriel pointed out. “But yeah. I’m good with it. It’s…nice…to be valued. To be useful.”

“I value you,” Sam said almost hurt by the implication. 

“I know you do. But that’s just for me. Not for anything I’ve done. Not for my knowledge or my opinions. And don’t get me wrong, that’s great. Knowing that I mean something to someone without having to earn it is a freeing feeling, but there’s something satisfying about knowing that I can earn it too,” Gabriel explained as he reached out to take Sam’s hand. 

“It was nice hearing you talk to someone again,” Sam said threading their fingers together as they walked. 

“It was important, and it wasn’t like there was a handy book on fire elementals lying around,” Gabriel said with a shrug. 

“It was still nice,” Sam said squeezing Gabriel’s hand.

Gabriel was surprised that such a little thing seemed to mean so much to Sam and he resolved to make more of an effort in the future. They lapsed into an easy silence for a while and Gabriel wasn’t sure how long they had walked before Sam jerked him to a stop. “Gabriel, look,” he pointed into the trees where they were being watched by a family of deer. The buck was positioned partly in front of the doe with the fawns peeking around the sides. Gabriel smiled and started to step towards them. “Wait,” Sam said reaching to stop him. He didn’t want them to run off so soon. 

“It’s okay, Sammy,” Gabriel said shaking off the hunter’s concern. Gabriel walked over slowly with his hand outstretched, palm down. Sam watched in awe as the buck shifted nervously and stepped forward towards Gabriel, putting himself more firmly between the archangel and his family, but still allowed Gabriel to approach. The hunter gasped as the buck’s nose bumped Gabriel’s hand and the archangel’s grin grew wider as he scratched the animal’s head. 

Gabriel slowly reached into his pocket with his other hand, pulling out one of the granola bars he’d brought for Sam in case he felt like a snack, taking Bobby’s gentle reminder to feed him to heart, and he broke off a piece to feed the old deer before motioning Sam forward. “Slowly,” he said just loud enough for Sam to hear him and the hunter approached even slower than Gabriel had. The archangel put a piece of the granola bar in Sam’s hand and Sam held it out to the buck, grinning widely when he took it. 

Sam started when the buck turned and stomped his foot making a huffing sound, but when the doe and the fawns came forward to meet them he figured he must have been calling them the same way Gabriel called him. Sam almost snickered at the thought of the heads of family meeting to come to an agreement before the rest of the family can meet. The buck stuck with Sam, possibly because he saw him as more of a threat and Gabriel pushed a few more granola bars into his hand before turning to the doe and the fawn the wasn’t sniffing the hunter and they both started breaking them up to feed the family. “This is incredible,” Sam breathed out. 

“They can sense what I am,” Gabriel whispered. “Most animals have an affinity for angels. It’s an instinctual thing.”

By the time they finished the last of the granola bars, the deer wandered off towards the river for a drink of water. Sam could attest to the fact that granola tended to give one a bit of dry mouth. He turned towards the archangel and reached out to brush a lock of hair out of the archangel’s face, leaving his hand to rest on Gabriel’s cheek as he leaned into the touch. “Do you have any idea how remarkable you are?” Sam asked softly as he closed the distance and kissed Gabriel gently, deepening the kiss for the first time since that fateful incident after his flashback. It stayed short and sweet, but it was something and Sam hadn’t been able to resist.


	15. Chapter 15

As they headed back to their starting point, Sam heard something behind him and looked back and snickered. “Looks like we’ve made some friends.”

Gabriel glanced back and noticed the family of deer following them and couldn’t help but laugh too. “Apparently.”

By the time they got back it was around lunchtime so they sat down at a tree and Gabriel pulled out some apples he had packed in the cooler and tossed Sam a sandwich. He fed the apples to the deer while Sam ate. “You do realize I’m only one person right? Or did you plan on making friends with ravenous deer,” Sam joked at seeing the amount of food Gabriel had brought. 

Gabriel just shrugged. He didn’t want to say how Bobby’s comment reminded him that he had been neglecting Sam’s needs in favor of his own neurosis and might have gone a little overboard. Either way it was good they had it. 

Gabriel’s apples apparently weren’t as enticing as he’d anticipated as one of the fawns got very curious about Sam’s sandwich and plucked the last half of it right out of the hunter’s hands. “Hey!” Sam protested with a laugh and just grabbed another of the four sandwiches Gabriel had packed. He considered standing up for a moment, but considering that the buck was as tall as his shoulders it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. The fawn must not have liked the sandwich much anyway as it was left abandoned on the ground. Sam didn’t worry too much about it though. Something out here would eat it eventually and the rest of the troop seemed to get the message because no one bothered him about this one. He did eat it rather quickly though. 

Once the apples were gone and Sam was finished with his sandwich he popped a beer and leaned back against the tree while Gabriel came and sat next to him. They were both surprised when the doe came over and laid between them and a fawn went to either side with their heads in their laps. Sam’s grin returned full force as they pet the docile creatures. While everyone was resting the buck was circling the area as though on patrol. “This is so surreal,” Sam said. 

“They do seem rather more affectionate than usual,” Gabriel said smiling himself as the little fawn nuzzled against him. 

“Maybe they can tell you need cheering up,” Sam suggested.

“Maybe,” Gabriel said contentedly. It was definitely working too. As much because of Sam’s joy as the affection from the deer. With every passing day the fear that all this would disappear was getting smaller and smaller. He still didn’t think it would ever go away completely though. Well not unless Sam decided to bond with him someday, but that hope seemed more and more likely. One thing was for sure though. When and if it did happen it would be for the right reasons, not just to banish the last of Gabriel’s fear. 

As they sat there enjoying the moment, Sam decided he may not get a better chance. He had meant to do it tomorrow, but since Gabriel was occupied and their little friends seemed invested in his well-being he may as well. “I was thinking I should probably go grocery shopping for Bobby. We can go together tomorrow if you want or I can go now while they’re here to keep you company.”

“Go ahead,” Gabriel told him. “I’ll be good and I’ll never be a big fan of cars.”

“Okay,” Sam said not able to help being nervous even though everything was fine yesterday when he left for a while. “Just…here,” he handed the archangel his backup cell. “My main cell and Bobby’s numbers are in there if you need anything.”

Gabriel didn’t even bother protesting. He knew that Sam knew it was unnecessary, but if it made the hunter feel better then that was what mattered. “Thanks.” Gabriel pulled out his wallet and handed over a debit card. “Use this. Pin is 6969”

Sam snorted a laugh. He could have guessed that pin easily. He knew that Gabriel had all the money in the world so he wasn’t going to complain about him pitching in. Sam was already planning to restock the sweets while he was gone too. He had no idea how long Gabriel’s powers were going to be down, but judging by the way the archangel talked it would at least be more than a few days. He looked back nervously a few times until Gabriel was out of sight as he headed back towards the house. 

Sam borrowed Bobby’s Chevelle for the shopping trip and he brought plenty of breakfast food, hoping that Gabriel cooking a big breakfast would become a habit. He grabbed a lot of sandwich stuffers for himself, some easy to heat up meals for Bobby, and half the store in candies and cakes and pies. He also bought some simple things that Dean could cook for Bobby whenever he showed up. Almost as an afterthought he grabbed plenty of apples just in case their deer friends stuck around. Since it was almost dinnertime, Sam grabbed some takeout on his way back and when he called Bobby to tell him not to worry about dinner, he was informed that Dean had showed up while he was gone so he grabbed some food for Dean too before he headed back to the salvage yard. 

As Sam headed into the house to drop off the food before going to unload the groceries, he stopped dead at the sight that met him on the couch. Dean was a mess. He had a thick bandage on his neck, his shirt was off and his ribs were wrapped like they were broken and Sam could see plenty of bruising all over his arms and torso peeking out from under the wrappings and his face looked like mince meat. “Jesus Dean. What the hell did you do?”

“They caught me staking the place out and took great offense. Luckily the other guys were close, but I was a nice little chew toy for about an hour before they got there,” Dean said annoyed. 

“That’s exactly why I didn’t want you to go alone,” Sam said heatedly. 

“Well you’re the one who would rather coddle your archangel than help me save lives,” Dean shot back. 

“Enough!” Bobby interjected. “I was gonna let this mess go, but since you wanna be an idjit about it, here goes. I thought I taught you boys better than running off on your own like that. You don’t save any lives if you get yourself killed. If you can’t handle a job, you let someone else handle it. End of story. Sam had other things to take care of and he could use a little support from you.”

“You’re defending him taking care of the trickster over his own brother?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“You had a choice and you made it,” Bobby snapped. “I would think you of all people would know the effect that hell can have on a person and you were there for less than a quarter what he was and you didn’t even have your own brother working you over. If you think I would ever turn away someone who needed to heal from something like that then you don’t know me at all. Sam is currently in the best position to help him heal and we are going to support him any way we can. You got me boy?” 

Dean had the good grace to look sheepish. He knew he was being a little bitch, but he was in pain and frustrated and couldn’t help but take it out on whomever he could. “Yeah. I got you.”

Sam gave Bobby a grateful smile, but didn’t dare say anything and risk lighting the powder keg again. He knew better than most how prickly Dean could be when he was hurt, so he just went out and brought the rest of the groceries in and quickly put them away before joining the others for a quick dinner. He pocketed a few apples on his way back out to Gabriel, leaving Bobby to explain where he was going if Dean asked. 

Sam found Gabriel in much the same position he left him in, still looking as much at peace as he had when Sam left. Sam grinned at him and pulled out an apple handing it to him before pulling out one of his own and the deer got their dinner. It also had the added bonus of clearing a space next to Gabriel for him to sit, and he quickly did so before it closed up again. Once the deer had wandered off for some more water, Sam told Gabriel, “So Dean is back.” He didn’t want the archangel to be surprised when they got back to the house. 

“Oh? He good?” 

“He’s knocked up pretty good, but he’ll live. Nothing for you to worry about,” Sam told him. He knew that if Dean was mortally wounded, Gabriel would save him, despite what it meant for him. 

“How bad?” Gabriel asked concerned. 

Sam should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. “Best I could tell some busted up ribs, plenty of bruising, and his face is a mess,” Sam told him. 

“Serves him right for going off on his own like that,” Gabriel said with very little sympathy now that he knew there was nothing life-threatening. 

“That’s pretty much what Bobby and I said,” Sam told him. 

“Still…if he’s still messed up when I can use my powers again, I’ll take care of it,” Gabriel offered. 

“Thanks Gabe. That’s very nice of you.” Nicer than Dean deserved considering the way he’d been treating Gabriel since he got back really, but Sam wasn’t going to go there. 

“Yeah, well, he’s your brother,” Gabriel said with a shrug as though that should explain everything.


	16. Chapter 16

They spent the rest of the evening in light conversation, Gabriel leaning against Sam while the hunter’s arms wrapped around him, until Gabriel started to yawn. Sam smiled fondly at him and brushed a lock of hair from his face. “You know I love you right?” he asked softly. 

Gabriel smiled and said, “I know. Me too.” 

Sam leaned down and kissed him gently. “We should probably get back before you fall asleep.” Gabriel nodded and the hunter stood up, reaching a hand down and hauling the little archangel to his feet. They walked in comfortable silence back to the house, hand in hand. As they opened the door, Dean, who happened to be walking towards the kitchen, turned to look at them and his knees buckled. Gabriel, getting his first look at the battered hunter, reacted instinctively, and flew to his side. He caught Dean before he hit floor, but his whimper was clearly audible from across the room. “Gabriel!” Sam exclaimed, both in admonishment and concern. 

He shifted so that he was helping Dean to the couch, but Sam inserted himself under his brother’s other arm just in time for Dean to say, “I’m fine. Just lost my balance is all.”

“Yeah, well, I can tell you’re not nearly as fine as you think you are,” Sam told him helping him down to the couch. “And neither are you,” he told Gabriel, who was holding onto the banister, face twisted into a grimace. 

“I just wanted a damn beer,” Dean grumbled. 

“I’ll get it,” Sam said before anyone else could offer to. “And you go sit down too,” he ordered the archangel who didn’t dare argue. 

Dean had to admit that Gabriel didn’t look too good as he sat down next to him and couldn’t help the stupid remark that spilled from his mouth. “Still not up to snuff huh?” The look Gabriel gave him said clearly what he thought of that statement. “Right. Sorry. Just…I was kinda hoping for some heals rather sooner than later.”

Gabriel shrugged. “Might be up to it by tomorrow evening. Gonna try something new tomorrow. The old man has first dibs though,” Gabriel told him. 

“Understandable. And Gabriel,” Dean paused looking a little uncomfortable before saying, “Thanks for that.”

Gabriel wasn’t sure if he meant for being willing to heal him or Bobby, but either way the sentiment was the same so Gabriel just nodded in time for Sam to come back in with his brother’s beer. He let on that he had been eavesdropping when he asked, “What new thing are you going to try tomorrow?”

“Well I have enough use of my grace back…” Sam scoffed and Gabriel looked at him pointedly. “Not quite enough to fly or heal yet, but enough to put myself into a trance. I should be able to look inside my grace and speed the healing, at least when surrounded by the grace in nature,” Gabriel told him. 

“The grace in nature?” Sam asked curiously. 

“Nature contains grace. Everything living does. Even humans. In each individual it’s so miniscule as to barely be there and the dead world you surround yourselves with smothers it even more, but out there it’s enough to tap into, to some small degree. That’s why being out there speeds my healing.”

“Wait wait wait,” Dean said. “Go back to this whole humans having grace and smothering it thing.”

“Didn’t you ever wonder why people who lived thousands of years ago had more power? Not a lot. Nothing compared to any supernatural creature, but things like heightened intuition, maybe some small feats of magic, large groups able to control weather on a minor scale, and stuff like that. Why all the so called ‘powerful wizards’ lived in secluded forests? The grace within them connected to the grace in the nature that they were surrounded by and they amplified each other,” Gabriel explained. “Everything my father created came from grace, however diluted it may be.”

“That’s…wow…” Sam said in awe. He had never considered that. He never bothered to wonder why nature helped to heal Gabriel. He had just been glad that it did. It explained why, generally speaking, people found peace in nature and felt rejuvenated by it. It dawned on me just how much utterly fascinating knowledge must be hidden in Gabriel’s mind. Sam pulled his thoughts back on track and asked, “So this trance of yours…” he trailed off, not really sure how to ask what he wanted to ask. 

“Will be rather like putting a bandage on a wound. Right now, it’s all spilling out, getting irritated and infected, but I can go inside my grace, find the holes, find the damage and sort of wrap it up. It’ll be weeks or longer before I will be able to use it for more than simple things, but flying and healing are the most basic powers I have,” Gabriel told him. “Assuming this works, I’ll be good for that by tomorrow evening.”

“Just don’t try to push yourself too much for anyone’s sake,” Sam told him, not that either of them had any question of who ‘anyone’ was. 

“I’m not. I want to fly again. I NEED to fly again. I’ve spend hundreds of years trapped in the cage, but now I’m out and I still feel trapped in this body. I won’t push myself, but it won’t hurt anything to do this trance, and while there is no guarantee that it will help, it probably will. I promise I’ll be careful.”

“Okay,” Sam agreed, not that Gabriel needed his permission. “What do you need from me?” Sam asked. 

“I need you to stay away,” Gabriel told him. “You can’t be there while I do this. Prolonged exposure to my raw grace like that could harm your soul,” he rushed to explain at the hurt look on Sam’s face. 

“But you’ll be okay?” Sam asked worriedly. Worried more about his mind than his grace. 

“I will be,” Gabriel said with a smile. “Consider it a test,” he said pointedly. 

Sam knew what he meant and couldn’t help the quirk of his lips. If Gabriel could spend a whole day alone and not fall apart, then he was as healed as could be expected. It would probably take years to heal fully, if he ever did, but he could be healed enough to get back into the world…and have normal interactions with people. “Okay, if you’re sure. But you’re taking my backup phone and you call me if you need me. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Gabriel said with a nod. It was a reasonable precaution. 

“Good. So we should probably get to bed. It’s getting late,” Sam said before turning to Dean. “You need anything before we head up?” 

“Nah. I’m good,” Dean waved them off, reclining on the couch and tipping his beer up. 

Sam slipped into the study on their way up and threw a blanket over Bobby’s shoulders again. As he and Gabriel slid into Bobby’s bed, Sam pulled the archangel close and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips only to find Gabriel seeking to deepen it. Sam allowed it for a few minutes before he brought it to an end with one last peck to Gabriel’s lips. “Good night Gabriel,” he whispered. 

“Goodnight, Samshine.”


	17. Chapter 17

The next morning Gabriel woke up what most would consider the middle of the night. It seemed he was done with his need for sleep. He looked at the clock to see that it was three-thirty in the morning and he just settled into Sam’s arms to wait for the hunter to wake up. He was anxious to get out there and get started repairing his grace, but he knew that Sam would worry unnecessarily if he woke up and Gabriel was gone. Besides, it wasn’t like Sam’s arms was a bad place to be. A few hours later, when he felt Sam start to stir, he finished waking him with a kiss, keeping it chaste, before pulling back with a cheerful, “Good morning beautiful.”

Sam grinned and rolled his eyes, “Morning imp.”

Gabriel giggled and hopped out of bed. “Figured I’d get an early start if that’s good with you.”

“How early?” Sam asked not quite awake yet. 

“I was thinking of heading out now. I wanted to wait until you woke up so you wouldn’t worry when I was gone,” Gabriel told him. 

“Yeah. Okay. Just remember…”

“If I need you I’ll call. I remember,” Gabriel told him with a fond smile and pressed one more quick kiss to the hunter’s lips. 

Sam watched as Gabriel got dressed, enhancing his morning problem, and when the archangel was out of the room, he rushed for the shower to take care of it. As he headed back downstairs, he realized that part of him was glad that Gabriel went out alone today. There was something that he had been wanting to talk to Dean about ever since Gabriel got back and this would give him the chance. It might even help having Bobby here for it too. He would wait until closer to lunchtime though. He knew better than to try and talk to Dean early in the morning. 

 

Gabriel found his place by the river, sitting a little closer to the riverbank, and stripped himself down to his t-shirt and boxers and he sat down to where his feet and most of his legs were in the water and he looked inside himself. He was vaguely aware of the time passing, as he was vaguely aware of his surroundings. The rushing water against his legs kept him grounded. Kept him from getting lost in himself, which was always a risk, and why he chose this position. Sam made a far better anchor, but he couldn’t be here. Not for this. As his consciousness sank into his grace, most of his awareness was taken up by the soft golden glow it emitted. Well soft to him anyway. To a human it would probably be quite harsh, but to him it was a comfort. Or would have been if there weren’t so many areas that were torn and blackened and inflamed. Part of the reason he hadn’t tried this before wasn’t just because his grace had been damaged. This was something he could have done at any time. It was an innate part of him. No, the reason he hadn’t tried before is because it was impossible to hide when submerged in your own essence. No hiding, no lying to yourself, no pushing the painful thoughts and memories away. He was facing everything he ever feared. Hell took on a fresh new clarity here, but as harsh as the memories were, his grace was also soothing. As if it were saying, ‘yes, it happened, but we’re still here and we can move on’. 

Gabriel could feel the tears streaming down his vessel’s cheeks as his memories and fears and hopes and dreams were paraded before him and he was forced to actually deal with them. To find healing. Sam had helped a great deal. Sam had gotten him this far, but he had to go the rest of the way alone, and that brought up a whole new set of fears. He had always been alone. From the time he left heaven he had been alone. Even when he wasn’t alone, he was alone. He was the only one who knew what or who he was and that was very isolating. Right up until a stubborn hunter blasted right through every shield he had in place. Sam saw him…the real him, and accepted him. Loved him even. And now…now being alone again was possibly his greatest fear. Being pulled back to hell, was at the top really, but it was now as much because of what he would lose as because of what he would endure. His grace seemed to linger for a long while on his fear of returning to hell, and he knew that he should be finding a way past it, but he just couldn’t. If this one turned out to be another of Lucifer’s tricks, he knew this would be the one to break him, once and for all. It was too late to turn back so he might as well be all in. 

Apparently that was good enough for his grace because it moved on. With each new acceptance, a small piece of his grace healed as well. Mind, spirit, emotion, grace, while separate in many ways it was all connected at the core and healing one couldn’t help but affect the others. That was why these trances were so effective. It was basically melding all four aspects together and facing yourself as a whole. He had been to broken before to even consider facing this, but now it was easier. He’d had to heal the separate parts enough that they wouldn’t shatter under the pressure. 

Gabriel was reliving the memory of Lucifer and Michael tearing him apart and taunting him with his failures and inadequacies, but the memory was overlaid with the memory of Sam’s joy and awe as they met the deer just yesterday. The memory of Sam holding him while he cried and telling him that he was worth it. The love shining in Sam’s eyes as he looked at him. He hadn’t even realized until then that he had still doubted Sam’s feelings for him. Still wondered if he was talking himself into it because of the soulmate thing. Seeing their interactions from within his own memories though, he couldn’t doubt it anymore and the memories of Sam bled over the memories of hell until they were far more prominent and the process continued. 

 

Sam waited until they were all sitting down to lunch before he said, “You know how before you left, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hunt anymore?” Dean nodded as though resigned to the news. “Well I’ve decided. I don’t. That doesn’t mean I won’t be available in a pinch. I’m sure Gabriel wouldn’t mind flying me wherever I need to go if someone is in trouble, but I want to retire.”

“With Gabriel,” Dean said more than asked.

“Yeah. With Gabriel. I…um…I didn’t say before because I didn’t know how you’d take it, but…well…Gabriel and I are soulmates…like in the literal sense of the word.”

“So in other words, I better get used to hunting alone,” Dean said grudgingly. 

“Well I was thinking. You should get out too. You know you want to. Remember when I was going into the cage and you were going to go to Lisa? That’s the life you want Dean. You know it is, so go get it,” Sam urged. 

“You know hunters don’t get happy endings,” Dean said bitterly. 

“They can when they have an archangel for a brother-in-law,” Sam said pointedly. He knew he was getting way ahead of himself, but he wanted Dean to see the possibilities and that meant playing the end game now. 

“So I just turn a blind eye to the horrors of the world?” Dean asked incredulously while wondering if he could do that. 

“You don’t have to turn a blind eye. You see something call someone in. If it gets close, go ahead and take it out. You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t exist. Just think about it Dean. How many hunters live to forty? Not many, and you’re getting there. A lot faster than you want to think about. We’ve taken out the leadership of hell. We’ve stopped an apocalypse. We’ve locked the devil away forever. We got revenge for Mom and Jess. We’ve done our part. Let someone else carry the load now.”

“Out with the old and in with the new?” Dean joked. 

Bobby smacked him with his trucker hat. “Watch who you’re calling old, boy.”

Sam and Dean both laughed at that. “Careful or I’m gonna come back and take your job old man,” Dean teased. 

“That mean you’re gonna do it?” Sam asked hopefully. He didn’t know how he would be able to handle knowing that his brother was out there risking his life alone. 

“Yeah. I’ll give it a go with Lisa and Ben and if it doesn’t work out…well someone needs to learn the ropes around here to take over for Bobby one day. Hell, maybe I’ll even be able to talk them into moving around here and make it easy on all of us. Assuming you’re good with that,” he asked Bobby. 

“You gotta ask? You know you boys are always welcome.”

“Great!” Sam exclaimed, slapping his brother’s back. That went much easier than he expected. 

The three of them spent an enjoyable afternoon…well only enjoyable because of the company really, organizing all of Bobby’s books. Sam and Dean doing the heavy lifting and Bobby supervising them and directing them. It was filled with banter such as “No no no. Fairies go under menaces not dangerous.”

“Well you’ve obviously never had a close encounter with one,” Dean grumbled. 

“You mean the one you nuked to death?” Sam laughed. 

“Or the one that beat you to a pulp,” he said smugly. 

“Only because I was stupid enough to forget the salt trick,” Sam shot back even as Dean put the book in the place Bobby requested. 

They had just finished dinner and settled down to watch television when Gabriel appeared in the room, between Dean and Bobby and smacked them both in the back of the head before grabbing Sam and disappearing, leaving the two now healed hunters blinking at the sudden turn of events. 

 

Sam stumbled a bit as they landed in a rustic cabin and he looked around, trying to come to terms with the sudden change of location. “Where are we?” he asked curiously. 

“One of my seclusion homes in Saskatchewan,” Gabriel said cheerfully as he pressed the hunter against the wall and kissed him deeply. He’d waited long enough for this. 

Sam wrenched himself away and asked, “You sure, Gabe?” 

“Absolutely,” he said with a grin. “I’m good Sammy. Really.” Sam grinned back and nearly crushed the archangel to him as he kissed him like his life depended on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna take another break from writing for a while. Murphy's law is really taking over my life at the moment and I'm finding that I'm having trouble focusing and getting in the right headspace to write. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but it shouldn't be too long. In the meantime, if I do get the urge to write I won't post until the story is complete so I don't end up leaving you guys with a half finished story for who knows how long before I get back to it.


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